Aed jokes
Where did Sally go during the bombing? Everywhere!
What's worse than Sally in a trash can? Sally in thirteen trash cans.
I got my sister a trampoline for her birthday, but she won’t get out of her wheelchair and use it.
I hate people who get offended here, like seriously, it's called dark humor for a reason.
A is for apple, B is for dyslexia—oh wait, no! That’s D!
The shovel is a ground breaking invention.
*Slaps and laughs*
A man and a boy are walking into a forest. It begins to get dark. The boy says "Mister, I'm scared." The man replies "How do you think I feel, I have to walk back alone."
The real reason Steven Hawking died is he was drunk and tried to go down a flight of stairs.
Why does Mexico not have a good athletics team? Because anyone who can run or jump is already over the wall.
I ain’t a chicken, but I ate a duck before.
Your forehead looks like the inside of a Malteser.
What are the similarities between an American teen and an old Muslim man?
They both choose who they want.
There was a guy how had a stroke, eh.
He's all right.
Why did the cat meow?
Because it's a cat, and they meow.
Q: How come in airports, they park the planes outside?
A: They don't belong in buildings.
What's the difference between your job and a dead hooker?
Your job still sucks.
Ur family reunion, a homosexual communion.
A woman comes to the doctor and tells her, "Doctor, my husband wants intense sex all day, what should I give him?" The doctor says, "My number."
A woman comes to the doctor and says, "Doctor, I think I have cancer." The doctor checks it out. "It’s all in your head," the doctor says. "Phew," said the woman. "A bunch of tumors, all in your head."
A man wakes up from his operation, and the doctor says, "I have bad news and good news, what do you want to hear first?"
The man says, "Bad," so the doctor says, "During the surgery, your girlfriend decided to leave a message that she’s leaving you for another man."
The man says, "What’s the good then?" And the doctor says, "I’m picking her up at 7."
Do you know Helen Keller?
Yes.
Did you know she had a dog?...... Neither did she!