Aed jokes
What's the difference between cancer and a Nazi? Cancer doesn't discriminate.
Q: What is red, white, and blue and fun to watch?
A: A cop car rolling over after trying to catch someone for speeding.
What's the difference between a feminist and Kim Jong Un?
Kim Jong Un has rights.
Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?
A: It just felt like it.
Two lawyers are sitting on a park bench, and these two beautiful women walk by. The first lawyer says to the other, “Let’s go fuck these chicks.”
The second lawyer says, “Outta what?”
An older retired couple - the wife had grown tired of her husband farting in bed each night. One morning she put some chicken parts under the blankets in bed next to him and went off to make some coffee.
A few minutes later she hears a loud fart followed by a blood curdling scream. He comes out after a while and says, "Hon, you were right that I would fart my guts out. Took me the longest to put them back in."
What do you get when you have an annoying kid, a homicidal kid, and a suicidal kid in the same room? A happy ending.
Q: What did the skeleton say when he proposed to his girlfriend?
A: Will you marrow me?
What fruit always feels depressed?
A blueberry.
Sometimes I just want to toss a flash bang into a room full of epileptic kids.
What do you call someone that is Mexican that has a BMW?
A big Mexican woman.
What do you call a dead pine tree? A Nevergreen!
What kind of file do you need to turn a 15 mm hole into a 40 mm hole? A pedophile.
How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? That's a silly question. Feminists can't change anything.
A person asks a taxidermist what they do for a living. The taxidermist replies, "Oh, you know, stuff."
What's the difference between an ISIS militant base and a Pakistani children's school?
I don't know, I just fly the drone.
What's a perfect example of poor management? A prostitute getting pregnant.
I once met a skeleton. I asked if I could tell him a joke. He agreed. I told it to him. He found it quite “humerus”.
What do you call a burning church?
Holy smokes.
Why can't the toilet paper cross the road? It was stuck in a crack.