Aed jokes
A guy and girl had a sex poem competition.
Guy: "Two times two is four, four plus five is nine. I can put mine in yours, but you can't put yours in mine."
Girl: "Two times two is four, four plus five is nine. I know the length of yours, but you won't know the depth of mine."
What do a small pair of underpants and a small dance room have in common?
No ballroom.
I was at a train station and a woman ran up to me and asked, "Is this train running on time?" I said, "No, it runs on steam and coal."
I arrived at a restaurant early and the manager said, "Do you mind waiting a bit?" I said, "I don’t mind," and he said, "OK. Take these trays to table 9."
Yesterday I purchased a world map and told my wife to throw a dart, and wherever it lands, I will take her. Turns out we're spending three weeks behind the fridge.
What’s the key to a successful relationship?
Consent.
Why was the rapper always so confident?
Because he had a lot of rhyme and reason!
What did the rapper say to the ATM?
"Show me the money, or I'll drop a BEAT!"
Why did the rapper become a teacher?
Because they had a knack for dropping KNOWLEDGE.
What do you call a rapper who LOVES space?
Snoop Star.
Why did the rapper become a barber?
Because they love CUTTING TRACKS!
What did the rapper say when their computer crashed?
"Looks like I just dropped a HARD DRIVE!"
Life is like a penis: women make it hard for no reason.
I was sitting on my own in a restaurant when I saw a beautiful woman at another table. I sent her a bottle of the most expensive wine on the menu. She sent me a note, “I will not touch a drop of this wine unless you can assure me that you have seven inches in your pocket.” I wrote back, “Give me the wine. As gorgeous as you are, I'm not cutting off three inches for anyone.”
Yo mama is so dumb, when she had a brain scan, the result was 404...
How do rappers like their coffee? With a lot of flow creamer.
What did the rapper say when he stubbed his toe?
"Ouch! That's NOT a sick beat!"
Why did the rapper always carry a map?
Because he was afraid of getting LOST in the BARS.
What's a rapper's favorite type of food?
Wrap sandwiches.
Why did the rapper open a bakery?
To drop some SWEET BEATS!