Aed jokes

What do you call a vagina with multiple clits?

A tongue workout!

30 people died in a car wreck before they got to Heaven. God asked for one wish because they died in a tragic way. The first lady, she was obsessed with her looks, so she asked to be beautiful and God granted her wish. The next person didn't know what to wish for, so they wished for the same thing. The guy in the very back was laughing, having a grand old time. Then God got to the person before the last. He said the same, he wished to be beautiful. When God got to the last person, he said, "I want them all to be ugly again."

The mother and her daughter went to the store. After they arrived, the daughter looked around and ran off somewhere. The mother realized this and took off looking for her. After a while, she found her tugging on a black man. The mother asked, "What are you doing?" and the daughter replied, "I wan't the chocolate!"

What do you call a dinosaur that can’t eat?

Anarexic.

- I think you're EGGcellent.

+ Wow... You really CRACK ME UP with that joke. I think you're a EGGxtraordinary comedian.

- Really? Are you done yet?.

+ Are you kidding? I have a DOZEN of them.

When a woman removes polish with chemicals, no one bats an eye, but when Hitler removes the Polish with chemicals, suddenly people lose their shit?

Glad to present you a wood clock.

https://olegon.ru/clock/

What's harder than taking a shit?

Trying to take a shit while constipated!

Stephen could not click the "I'm not a robot" button, so I guess he is fucked.

Why did I walk across the road?

To get hit by a car.

I was baking a cake when I saw some egg shell in the mix. I said, "You've got to be yolking me!"

Riddle: A man killed his wife in his car with a knife, and no one could see him. He threw the body out of the car and threw the knife off a cliff. When he got home, the cops called the man and told him his wife was dead and to come to the scene of the crime. The man agreed and rushed to the scene. When he got there, the cops immediately arrested him. Why?

ANSWER: The cops never said where the scene of the crime is.

Mickey and Minnie are getting a divorce. The divorce lawyer says to Mickey: "Mickey, you can't divorce Minnie because she is crazy," to which Mickey responds: "I'm not divorcing her because she's crazy, I'm divorcing her because she's f**king Goofy."

Why did the dog cross the road?

It didn't. Got hit by a car on the way to the other side.

Why can you never find a virgin cow on a field with no bulls for miles? Just ask the redneck farmer.

What happens when you cross a cow and a redneck?

The redneck fucks the cow.

I see some objects over there... oh, never mind, that's a woman.

I walked in a sushi bar, and the sushi chef looked very o-fish-all!

What do you call a Russian prostitute? Slobadown Mycockyoubitch.

So, I got a paper towel roll, ripped it, but started to fart when I ripped it off, and stopped farting when I got it off the roll, and then I said, "I guess that's why it's called ripping one!"