Aed jokes
My friend broke his tie. That's a tie breaker.
My jacket tore a little bit. It's a ripper.
There was a woman named Sally. She loved to have sex with other people. One time, she had sex with me. I noticed her bra size was 69 (+69). That is fucking big!
Ok, then when her partner was pissing, he told her she should call the doctor. So she dialed 2063512000 (+2000) and called the doctor. The office was on 51st street ave NE (+51). Holy shit, the doctor said! The boots were so big that she had to take 8 pills (x 8). The next morning, she was ________.
69 + 51 + 2000 x 8 = 16120
58008 (flip calculator)
Boobless.
We have some leak in the fridge. I'm surprised nobody has called a plumber.
What's the difference between a baby and a mansion?
I've never seen the inside of a mansion.
What's a bull's favorite body part?
An eye-BULL!
Person: "Doctor, doctor, I've only got 50 seconds to live!"
Doctor: "Just give me a minute!"
That is not a joke hahahahhaha.
My disabled dad went to the grocery store.
He got lost and yet they couldn’t find him.
Finally, he was found after a kid told them he was in the vegetable aisle.
A man gets kicked out of police camp after writing "Who's that Pokémon?" next to all of the chalk outlines.
What does this joke and half a deck of cards have in common?
You can't even deal with it!
I was going to tell you a joke about a pencil, but now it is pointless.
A hand of Pepsi murdered a Coca Cola. An innocent Sprite yelled, "Quick! Call Dr. Pepper!"
Eventually, a 7-Up called Dr. Pepper. The Coca Cola was fine.
Anyone here a spoon?
Is depression an emotion or a state of mind? I call it a lifestyle.
How do you turn your dog into a watchdog?
Get it a Rolex!
A clown held a door open for me. I thought it was a nice jester.
What is the difference between eating a baby and a doughnut?
Babies are healthier.
I never wanted to believe that my dad was stealing from his job as a road worker.
But when I got home, all the signs were there.
(This isn't really a joke btw anyway.) SpongeBob, me boy, ye ruptured me intestines with that massive c*ck of yours, agahgahagahagahagah!