Aed jokes
Why can't orphans go to homecoming? Because they don't have a home to go to.
Kid: Hey, Dad.
Dad: You're an hour late.
Kid: No, it was two hours. Also, I was working on math.
Dad: By yourself?
Kid: No.
Dad: A boy?
Kid: I was with the teacher.
Dad: My kid just said "butch," but since he is a kid, he said a bad word on accident.
*The next day*
Uncle: F*CK!
A sibling went up to their other sibling and said, "Dad said you're adopted."
The other sibling said, "You are, too."
Then the first sibling goes, "No, I'm not."
And the sibling says, "We're twins."
The other kid goes, "And you're adopted... oh."
You know what a big ass is. If I told you it's a fake ass, so I'm lesbo.
One night, a girl said to her family, "Goodnight Mommy, Goodnight Daddy, Goodnight Grandma, Goodbye Grandpa." The next morning, her grandpa died. That night, she said, "Goodnight Mommy, Goodnight Daddy, Goodbye Grandma." The next morning, the grandma died. The dad started to fear for his life because he was next. That night, the girl said, "Goodnight Mommy, Goodbye Daddy." The next morning, the dad woke up and he was perfectly fine, but when he went into the kitchen, he saw his wife crying. When he asked her what's wrong, she said, "The mailman died."
So a cupcake walks into a bar and sits down. The bartender says to himself, "Damn, this is some good shit."
What do you get when you mix up a group of emos?
Suicide squad.
What do you call a laughing motorcycle?
A Yamahahahaha!
Fila is a cool brand. I fill a cock in my ass.
A dog meets a cat. The cat is black and the dog is white. They have sex on site, no cap.
My friend wasn't laughing at my jokes, so I said, "Is your funny bone broken?" But he got mad, and then I said, "Do you have a bone to pick with me?" He tried to insult me, but I said, "Call me what you want, I got thick skin," and this story was down to the bone.
What does a butt do when it is angry?
Butt crack!
What do you say to a clock?
"What time is it?"
A man goes into heaven and there he meets Jesus. He asks Jesus what that broken clock is there for. Jesus says, "That is Mother Teresa's clock, it has never moved because she has never lied." "There is Abraham Lincoln's clock. He has lied twice so it has moved twice." "Where is Donald Trump's?" asks the man. Jesus answers, "It is in my office, I am using it as a ceiling fan."
My car fell in a ditch today. Didn't want any more cars falling, so I put a car-pet over it.
What's a gay guy should be scared of?
A straight gay!
What’s one thing that a gay person is scared of?
A gay guy that’s straight!
What dog can’t see a dog that’s blind?
What do you call a dog with no tail?
A tail-less dog.