Aed jokes
What did the tree say to his sister? Wood you please leaf me alone, you son of a birch?
I have a brother and he told me this quote, "No wonder they had a second child, they messed up on the first one." He’s the second child... I’m the first...
Hitler visits a lunatic asylum. The patients give the Hitler salute. As he passes down the line, he comes across a woman who isn't saluting.
"Why are you not saluting like the others?" Hitler barks.
"Mein Führer, I'm the nurse," she responds. "I'm not crazy!"
A poster for the winter relief fund reads: "No one should be allowed to go hungry or suffer from the cold." A worker says to his friend, "Now were not even allowed to do that."
Hi 👋 I love 💕 you know I do. What a good night of a good [something].
What is a nut that does magic?
A human that can turn into a nut!
What do painters and prostitutes have in common?
They're both paid for a good finish.
Why is Sunday better than Monday?
Because Monday is a weak day.
One day, a chemistry teacher asked his student, whose name is Raj, "What is the chemical formula of water?"
The Raj replied, "HIJKLMNO."
The teacher asked, "What is this rubbish?"
The Raj replied, "Yesterday, you taught the chemical formula of water is H2O."
What do you call a sandwich 🥪 full of envy?
Peanut Butter n' Jealousy! 😂
If you spin a fidget spinner, You'll end up spinning it too fast. When you end up spinning it too fast, it will make you fly away. When you fly away, you'll end up in a tree. When you end up in a tree, you'll see that your friends are hanging out without you. When you see that your friends are hanging out without you, you'll run away in the woods because you're sad. When you ran away in the woods, you'll see a bear. When you see a bear, it will chase you. When the bear chases you, you'll build a fort to protect yourself. When you build a fort to protect yourself, you then notice you're lonely. You'll become friends with the bear. When you become friends with a bear, you'll start to act like a bear. When you start to act like a bear, you will become a bear.
DO NOT BECOME A BEAR! NEVER PLAY WITH A FIDGET SPINNER!
What sound does a nut make when it comes alive?
Christmas!
What is a mouse's favorite movie?
"Sharpay's Fabu-mouse Adventure!"
Let's make a joke on how depressing Monday is to ignore how depressing everyday is.
Why did the lemon 🍋 go to the doctor 👩⚕️?
Because he had a sour stomach.
A blonde crashes an airplane.
Officer: Could you please explain to me what happened?
Woman: It got so cold in the plane, I turned the fan off.
Officer: *face palms self*
Also officer: Here's your sign.
Why can’t orphans say "I’m in the ghetto?" Because they can’t say "I’m in a home."
What do you call an orphan with parents?
Idk, I never met one before.
Bonus joke: I went up to an orphan and asked where his parents were. He said, "I don’t have any." I said, "Wonder why."
Another bonus joke: Me: Hey. Orphan: Hey. Me: What do you do for fun? Orphan: Look for my parents. Me: Me, so they're not dead? Orphan: No, they just abandoned me.
More bonus: What do you call a homeless kid?
An orphan.
Last bonus: Why don’t orphanages teach kids about home?
Because they can’t find one.
lmao this is so funny, dark humor can be funny. Sorry, orphans!
I have a nun joke! It is nun-ya business!!! Ha!!! Ha!!! Ha!!! Ha!!! 😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣
A person went to tell a joke: "Knock knock!" "Who’s there?" "I don’t remember!" (I think we need to moove on to the next joke now.)
I just now made this one up! Then I realized it is in the cow category, so I added the moove on part! 😂