
Aed jokes
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Ididap.
Ididap who?
That's the joke, you did a poo!
"Sanderson, fire a warning shot."
"Uhh sir, this is an M32 rotary grenade launcher."
"Ah potato-potato, just pull the trigger."
What has two tires and no engine? A magic house 🏡
An alien goes to Area 51, but I wonder why he doesn't go to your house?
My cat sleeps about 20 hours a day. She has her food prepared for her. She can eat whenever she wants, 24/7/365. Her meals are provided at no cost to her. She visits the doctor once a year for her checkup, and again during the year if any medical needs arise. For this she pays nothing, and nothing is required of her.
She lives in a nice neighborhood in a house that is much larger than she needs, but she is not required to do any upkeep. If she makes a mess, someone else cleans it up. She has her choice of luxurious places to sleep. She receives these accommodations absolutely free. She is living like a queen, and has absolutely no expenses whatsoever. All of her costs are picked up by others who go out and earn a living every day.
I was just thinking about all this, and suddenly it hit me like a brick in the head, Holy Sh*t, my cat is a Democrat!
What did the fish get on his math test?
A sea plus.
"When Republicans do politics, it's a crime. But when Democrats commit crimes, it's politics." ---Tyler Nixon
What has two names and one big home?
A person.
Why do people say "cheese" in a camera?
Because they were using the computer.
What is a plane ✈️ that can not fly?
A fake one ☝️
What kind of house 🏠 can fly? A magic house 🏠!
What is your car you cannot drive? A super flying car!
A mom and her two children were eating at a place while playing trivia when she asked what does AIDS stand for? Her son Dallyn has no idea, but her daughter Emberlee, who has always been a little odd, says, "An Intentional Disease." Her brother and mom just stared!
Why did the moth nibble a hole in the carpet?
He wanted to see a floor show.
Me: I want to be a stand-up comedian.
Friend: You have to be able to stand up.
10 Fun Facts.
1. You can't wash your eyes with soap. 2. You can't count your hair. 3. You can't breathe through your nose with your tongue out. 4. You just tried number 3. 5. When you did number 3, you realized it's possible, only you look like a dog. 6. You're smiling right now because you were fooled. 7. You skipped number 5. 8. You just checked to see if there is a number 5. 9. Share this with your friends to have some fun too :-)
If you have a twin sister, do you have the same name? Only if your mom and dad give you the same name.
What is the difference between a human and a bird?
A bird can fly and a human cannot fly.
As the car crashed, someone said, "I see a light!"
What is the name of a show for kids?
Barney.