Aed jokes

What do you call a cow that no one likes? The mooser.

Actor 1: "I'm Michael with a b and I hate insects."

Actor 2: "Where's the b?"

Actor 1: "THERE'S A BEE???????????!!!!!!!!!!!????????!!!!!"

What type of teacher doesn't fart in public?

A private tutor/tooter.

What is the difference between Princess Diana and my laptop?

When my laptop crashes, I give a s**t.

When a midget smokes weed, do they get high or medium?

Donald Trump is a good president and not a complete moron.

My favorite joke was: what's the difference between a teacher and a train?

A lady runs into a police station and yells, "Help, help! I've been graped!"

A police officer says, "Do you mean raped?"

The girl then replies, "No, there was a bunch of 'em!"

I work at a bank and an old woman asked me to check her balance.

So I pushed her over.

Once upon a time, a man said to a woman, "I want to fuck you."

Your momma is so fat, when she gets done having sex she rolls over and smokes a ham.

Three people die on the same day: a German, an American, and an Italian. They all go to Hell for various reasons.

American: "I won't ever see my dog again!"

Italian: "I won't ever make pizzas again!"

German: "Hey, granddad, how have you been?"

How to learn your Vitamins:

A = Art.

B = Bouncy Balls.

C = Cookies.

D = Da Sun.

You'll be smarter than a doctor next time you visit!

Why is the chicken that crossed the road a cannibal? Because he went to KFC.

A girl named Sally has no arms.

"KNOCK KNOCK"

She never answered...

Why does an orphan have to go to church? Because that's the only way he can pray for a father.

Mississippi is a long word. How do you spell it?

What do a politician and a minister have in common?

Both of them will tell you anything to get money from you.

What is the difference between giving money to a prostitute and giving money to a church? A prostitute won't tell you that it is more blessed to give than it is to receive.

What is the difference between giving money to a prostitute and giving money to a church? You don't get something in return if you give money to a church.