Aed jokes
What's the difference between sleeping pills and my beating my meat?
Sleeping pills actually come with a prescription.
Mississippi girls are missing a "pp."
Is Google a girl or a boy?
Obviously a girl, because it won't let you finish a sentence without making a suggestion.
"Tibia" honestly, I think the reason I’m "bonely" is because you guys don’t find my jokes "humerus."
Maybe if I played the trombone it would get people’s attention, but "tibia" honest I can’t be bothered, so just look at my "BONE-zai" tree, although my brother doesn’t really like that one, so how about a "S-pine" tree?
Tried to kill myself today using a bungee cord, I kept ALMOST dying.
Why did the MOSFET go to jail?
It had a charge for battery.
What do you call a sad strawberry?
A blueberry.
What's the difference between a man's wife and his dog?
Lock them both in the trunk for three hours and see which is happy to see you when you open it.
What do you call a bee that lives in America? A USB.
If sex before marriage is a sin, is sex after marriage cos or tan?
What do you call that useless piece of skin that goes all the way around a pussy?
A woman!
A man once went to a doctor because his leg was turning blue.
The doctor said that his leg had to be amputated as it was getting poisonous.
The man then got plastic prosthetics.
Next day even the prosthetics started turning blue.
After much examination, the doctor found that the patient's pants were shedding color.
Why are mountains 🏔 so funny? Because they’re hill areas, do you get it? They are hill areas, like a mountain is a hill area. It sounds like hilarious, so you get it.
What do you call a night guard at the glory hole inside a adult bookstore?
Guardian of the confessional booth.
What kind of tree fits into your hand? A palm tree.
I went up to a kid and asked, "Are you an orphan?" They said, "Yes, what gave me away?" I said, "Your parents."
Boy: Crap, I hit a deer.
Girl: Awe... I guess it’s not so much of a dear.
Boy: ...
Boy: Get the hell out!
What's the difference between a suicide bomber and puberty?
Puberty waits for the blow up.
Watching porn.
Watching porn blow my dick like a basset horn.
I always sucked at mazes. I found myself lost over and over again, but if life is a labyrinth, I'd always find the escape. The final dead end, my personal favorite...