Aed jokes
My diet consists of Blood Pudding, I love it and have it for breakfast, lunch, and dinner, my secret ingredient though?
It consists of the blood and insides of my victims, it’s a bit chunky sometimes, some bits chewy, some bits hard, but it’s a hearty meal.
One day, the teacher asks a boy, "Why can't fish talk underwater?"
The kid says, "If I put your head underwater, will you be able to talk?"
Roses are red, That's a tin can, You have no home, So get in the van!
Other girls be like, "I want a 6ft guy", meanwhile I want to be 6ft under. 😃👍
What part of a vegetable is the hardest to eat?
The wheelchair.
How do we get a butt? God made us like that, and we can't change it. If you wanted to, you have to die <:
What’s the easiest way to make a glow worm happy? Cut off its tail—it’ll be delighted!
What is the difference between an egg and you? An egg gets laid, and you don't.
911 jokes are just plane wrong, my dad was a great pilot you know.
This joke probably flew over people's heads, but for some people it flew into their head.
Do you have a halo?
'Cause I can give it to you.
What's red all over and spins at 100 mps?
Baby in a blender.
How do you get a nun pregnant?
Fuck 'em.
A man books a session to see a therapist, as he claims he has a strong fear of the 15th, 9th and 3rd letters of the alphabet. So once the therapist, let's call him Frank, has jotted that down on his notebook, he says, "Oh, I see."
What kind of chair inhabits your soul?
A hair!
What did the hairdresser say to the power line?
"Want a power cut?"
What's the name of a cannibal's favorite all-you-can-eat buffet? Planned Parenthood!
Me: I know how to use a microwave!
Also me: Mom! The microwave is on fire!
Me in my dream: What a good day! *rumble* Ooh! What was that?
I wake up and I find myself on the floor.
I apologise for this joke lmfaooo, and you have probably heard this banger before, anyways;
What is the difference between a priest and a zit? 👀 The zit waits till you are 13 to come on your face 🤧
A priest walks into a wine store.
"Do you have any 10-year-olds?" Seller: "What the f- Oh, you meant 10-year-old wine." Priest: "I said what I said."