Aed jokes
I can cry, but I don't have eyes. I can fly, but I don't have wings. Who am I?
A cloud.
What goes boo in a car with no lips?
Why is parking a car like finding a girlfriend?
All the good ones are taken, so you stick it in the disabled one and hope nobody notices.
Teacher: Okay class, what's a word that begins with A?
Student: Apple!
Teacher: Good! What's a word beginning with B?
Student:....Bitch...
Information has been leaked from government sources. When the current lock-up ends, the holder of the nation's purse, Fishi Rucksack, will launch a new initiative.
This will be to help the struggling "personal services" industry and will be labelled, "Sleep out to Help out."
A guy walks into an AA meeting and asks for a road map.
So, you're human, huh? Well, I'm a skeleton, so not much gets under my skin.
What do you call a clown that is allergic to strawberries?
...Ollie the clown!
If I send a clown to deliver flowers to my wife...
...is that a romantic jester?
One day I came to my mom and said, "MOM!!! I can make a butterfly!"
Mom: "No you can't..."
Me: *throws butter out the window* Me: "Look I made a butterfly!"
lol this isn't funny but I hope you liked it.
Biden is a joke. Trump is AMAZINGLY AWESOME!
Why doesn't Voldemort have a human nose?
Because his snake bit it off!
Harry Potter
Dobby: "Dobby never meant to kill, Dobby only meant to maim or seriously injure!"
Jumanji
Coach Webb: "Ok, there's a lot wrong with that."
What’s the difference between an orphan and an apple? The apple got picked.
I was going to log a pun about trees, but you wooden understand it.
I was playing baseball with orphans, but when they hit a homerun, they had nowhere to go.
What's the difference between my wife and a battery? I can't use a battery when it dies.
Have you ever noticed when a woman is pregnant, all her friends touch her stomach and say "congrats," but none of them touch the man's penis and say "well done?"
Me: I’m gonna smite the life out of you!!!
Orphan: What! No! Please no!
Me: What you gonna do? Run home and tell your parents? Wait, I forgot, you don’t have a home or parents!!!!
You must have a good power supply, because you're easy to turn on!