Actor

Actor jokes

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One day my mom told me not to be an actor. I said, "But mommy, I will make a lot of money!"

What do orphans and olden day actors have in common?

Both get food thrown at them some of the time.

As an actor going to film a new TV show in another country, when TSA asks, "What’s the purpose of your visit?"... "I’m going to shoot a pilot" is never a good answer.

Johnny Depp once said in an interview: "I get older, my girlfriends stay the same age."

Maybe Johnny Depp's soulmate isn't born yet. We'll see in 20-25 years.

When they say you live by the sword, you die by the sword, not in Paul Walker's case. He lived by the car, died by a tree. Well, I guess the car was stumped.

How do you know Johnny Depp finished his meal?

When you see fifty empty bottles of wine on his front doorstep.

Why did the Secret Service detain Johnny Depp at the White House?

Because he was about to kick the cabinet.

If Bruce Willis (the guy in the Christmas movie Die Hard) dies of a Viagra overdose, would that mean he truly dies hard?

I can't tell what's farther, the Great Wall of China, or how far Paul Walker flew out of his windshield.

Did you hear about the emo kid who auditioned for the school play?

He made the cut.

Amber Heard's Morning Routine

Wake Up. Eat Breakfast. Take a Shit. Get Out of Bed.

Ricardo Medina, one of the former red Power Rangers, pleaded guilty to killing his roommate with a sword.

"I always like walking in the rain, so no one can see me crying."

- Charlie Chaplin

Dwayne “the Rock” Johnson has made a laudable, command decision to omit real firearms from his movie sets.

This being the case, he ought to produce, direct, and star in his next movie titled: “The Rubber Gun Squad!” 👌 😉

I was in an audition for the lead role of movie "Aquaman." The Director told me to dive into a pool. Then outta nowhere Penaldo showed up and made a big dive into the pool. The director was impressed and selected Penaldo for the movie.

Shame on you Penaldo for destroying my dream!