Actor jokes
Paul Walker.
John Cena.
Your hairline goes so far back it looks like it got slapped back by Will Smith.
Sydney Drake is hot. ⛓🖤🥺😩
What is Johnny Depp's new legal name?
Johnny in debt.
Did you know Paul Walker had dandruff? Neither did I til I seen his Head and Shoulders on the dashboard.
Dad: I heard an actor killed themselves with a knife. It was Reese something.
Mom: Witherspoon.
Dad: No, with a knife, you dummy!
What does a male Asian P*rnstar like to say?
"I love eating cat."
Why did an old man fall in a well? Because he couldn’t see that well!
Why did the actor fall through the floorboards? They were going through a stage!
Why did a scarecrow win a Nobel prize? He was outstanding in his field!
Why are peppers the best at archery? Because they habanero!
What did the duck say after she bought chapstick? Put it on my bill!
What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta!
What did the three-legged dog say when he walked into a saloon? “I’m looking for the man who shot my paw!”
How do you tell the difference between a bull and a cow? It is either one or the udder!
What’s red and smells like blue paint? Red paint!
What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo? One is very heavy, the other is a little lighter!
What's the difference between Johnny Depp and an orphan?
An orphan has all their teeth intact.
What does Johnny Depp do when his kids are not home?
Cocaine.
I asked the orphan if he wanted to watch all the Tom Holland Spider-Man movies with me, and he started crying.
Why are people surprised by Johnny Depp having $30,000 wine bills, domestic violence accusations, rampant substance abuse, poor hygiene, and the looks of a predator?
He grew up a Florida Man, after all.
One day my mom told me not to be an actor. I said, "But mommy, I will make a lot of money!"
"Jesus is the pioneer of Hollywood. He's still famous and my favorite idol."
What do orphans and olden day actors have in common?
Both get food thrown at them some of the time.
As an actor going to film a new TV show in another country, when TSA asks, "What’s the purpose of your visit?"... "I’m going to shoot a pilot" is never a good answer.
Johnny Depp once said in an interview: "I get older, my girlfriends stay the same age."
Maybe Johnny Depp's soulmate isn't born yet. We'll see in 20-25 years.
When they say you live by the sword, you die by the sword, not in Paul Walker's case. He lived by the car, died by a tree. Well, I guess the car was stumped.
How do you know Johnny Depp finished his meal?
When you see fifty empty bottles of wine on his front doorstep.