I am really hot, but I hate water. What am I?
Actor 1: "I'm Michael with a b and I hate insects."
Actor 2: "Where's the b?"
Actor 1: "THERE'S A BEE???????????!!!!!!!!!!!????????!!!!!"
What's got 4 legs and is stronger than Superman?
Christopher Reeve's horse.
Q: Why did the Scarecrow from the Wizard of Oz win an award?
A: Because he was outstanding in his field.
Who is chicken's favorite actor?
James Cor-hen!
Jeff, did you hear they're making a film about Jimmy Savile? It’s a very touchy subject.
Yeah, I did, Gary, but did you hear the reviews on the Bill Cosby film? People said it was so boring it put them to sleep.
Chuck Norris doesn't get sun burns. The sun knows better.
Director: Hi, we are making a huge cliffhanger in this movie.
Actor: Really? What do I do?
Director: You will play the part of the cliff. (holds up hanging rope)
Chuck Norris can make Minute Maid lemonade in 5 seconds.
Why do they tell actors to "break a leg"?
Because every play has a cast.
Joaquin Phoenix as The Joker is like Heath Ledger if he overdosed on prescription drugs... Oh, wait. He already did.
Biggest joke?
[Image of Zac Efron]
Why did the man die of the actor's performance?
The performance was unbeLIVEable!
I'm making a new movie, it's called "Veggie Tales." My star actor is Stephen Hawking.
They told me I could never be an actor.
No one suspected me when they went missing the next day.
How do you find Will Smith in the snow?
You look for the fresh prints.
If Adolf starred in the Room, his most iconic line would be “I did not Hitler! I did not!”
So Paul Walker made a rap cover. It is called "Straight Out of Windshield."
Chuck Norris: "Chuck Norris doesn't fight, he just allows you to lose."
Me: "How come did you lose Return of the Dragon?"
My girlfriend's a porn star.
She'd kill me if she found out.
