Actor jokes
I was in an audition for the lead role of movie "Aquaman." The Director told me to dive into a pool. Then outta nowhere Penaldo showed up and made a big dive into the pool. The director was impressed and selected Penaldo for the movie.
Shame on you Penaldo for destroying my dream!
Hey, did you know Paul Walker's gay?
Why do you say that?
Because he likes to wrap himself around long, old wood.
What actor do orphans hate?
Dom Terreto (family).
What actor does an orphan hate?
Vin Diesel.
What do Paul Walker and I have in common? Neither of us have seen Fast and the Furious 7.
What do you call a porn star that always goes back for more?
Craven Morehead.
Since Christopher Reeves can't play Superman, they got a new person: Christopher Walken.
Chuck Norris built the hospital he was born in.
Why did Nicholas Cage and Angelina Jolie attend Paul Walker’s funeral?
He went from "The Fast and the Furious" to "Gone in 60 Seconds."
How do you find Will Smith?
You look for the Fresh Prince.
Paul Walker is the best legend to go down in history. Change my mind.
What’s the difference between a computer and Paul Walker? I give a crap when my computer crashes.
What is the opposite of Christopher Reeve?
Christopher Walken.
I'm glad I'm not a pornstar... that would be pretty sucky.
John Wilkes Booth, to his fiancee: "I have an important role to play tonight at Ford's Theater."
Fiancee: "Break a leg!"
Why did the actor fall through the floor?
He was just going through a stage!
Q) What do you call Iron Man when he can't swim?
A) Robert Drowney Jr.
I don’t believe in reincarnation now, and I didn’t believe in it when I was a hamster.
—Shane Richie, British actor
Danny Devito looks like one of those men with a short, yet thick penis.
What do you call Amber Heard crying during the lawsuit?
A DEPPression.
(If you are a fan of either Johnny Depp or Amber Heard, you might get the joke).