How did Billy find out he was in a minefield?
He saw his dads corpse holding a jug of milk.
There was a car accident and the cops pull up to the crime seen to start asking people questions. The police started talking to a blonde lady and said what happened here she responded by saying a car crash. They then asked but how did it happen, she responded the cars crashed into each other. They finally said but why did it happen. The lady said oh i know where your going with this. It happened because when cars push on the gas peddle the car goes forward and they both pushed it so they both went forward and hit each other. One cop said never mind ma'm and they stared walking away. The blonde lady then said oh and officers my computer froze do you think i should put in the microwave or in the oven?
I was gonna do a school shooter joke but it was aimed at younger audiences.
I was thinking of a good accident joke and I asked my sister, she said you
Teacher: Where were you born? Student: The highway Teacher: What do you mean Student: I don't know my mom says thats were all the accidents happen.
my sister gives her hamster to my brother since she thinks im irresponsible so i throw it out the window
So this one time i saw Sally trying to get up after she fell off the swing, and i helped her up and she said ''Thank you '' and i said your welcome. The next day i saw her legs and someone said '' I would not do that'' and i said '' Whatever'' i tapped sally and the top halve fell I said ''WHAT HAPPENED TO SALLY. And someone said she went in a mine field.
what do gum and guns have in comman when you pull one out every one wants to be your friend all of a sodden
What do you call the worst joke ever?
Well according to my mom, I am.
Jack and Jill went up the hill to have a little fun but stupid Jill forgot her pill and now they have a son
A boy asked his dad for a some money to buy an ice-cream with. So he went to an icecream van. Whilst he was in the queue 2 boys asked him what flavour he was getting he told them strawberry. The two boys were shocked and beat him up. The icecream man felt bad and gave him his strawberry ice-cream for free. When he got home his dad also asked what flavour he bought the boy said strawberry. His dad then kicked him out of the house. The boy confused walked down the street and was stopped buy the police who were looking for a boy who had been eating strawberry ice-cream. The boy said thats me and the policeman arrested him. A week later in court the boy was on trial. The judge asked, ''can you tell me what were you doing on the fith of may''(the day he was arrested) the boy said I was eatimg ice-cream. Yhe judge decided he was innocent. On the way out the judge asked him what the flavour was (he had forgotten to ask during the trial). Of course he answered with strawberry the judge horrified realised he had given the wrong verdict and the boy should have been executed. Unfortunately he couldn't change what had happened so the boy walked out and crossed the road but was hit by a car and died. The moral of the story is look left and right before crossing the road
There were two snakes slithering along when one snake said to the other snake "Are we poisonous?" "Idk why?" The other snake responded "Cause I just bit my tongue!"
What did the helicopter say Helicopter: Kobe
Why did the plane crash? Because it was being flown by a loaf of bread.
my friend died by a truck, why can't I get run over
Man 1: I-I ran my mom over to get a stupid book. Man 2: aww books aren't that bad. I'm sure she thinks you're a great son considering she can't drive anymore. Man 1: She was in the road and I was rushing to get the last copy of this book. She can't drive or do anything anymore
why did itsfunneh go on the road she so draco looking at car then the car runs over him sad draco
Why did lil timmy drop his lollies
(He was hit by a train
We were so poor that every time I passed by a butcher shop I thought there had been a horrible accident.
My father can take a joke- :because he made one
