Accident

Accident Jokes

Cat

Why did the cat cross the road?

To make a catastrophy on the road.

Stairs

You know stairs, right? The dark... My there is something. I know that if you fall down the stairs, your balls will be crushed!

Doctor

doctor: you need to eat healthy.

me: no.

doctor: the last patient who didn't change their diet after I suggested it died.

me: oh my goodness.

doctor: in a plane crash.

me: that sounds unrelated.

doctor: I'm the one that crashed it. Do not disobey me!

People

Even people who are good for nothing have the capacity to bring a smile to your face, like when you push them down the stairs.

Pilot

pilot: *over intercom* we're all going to die.

passengers: *start freaking out*

pilot: all of us will one day, no one knows when.

passengers: *sigh with relief*

pilot: but it'll probably be when we hit that mountain.

Poison

Me: *gets down on one knee*

Girlfriend: OMG, it's finally happening!

Me: *falls over*

Girlfriend: The poison is kicking in.

Car

What do you call a retard that got hit by a car? Mashed potatoes.

Wheel

I pushed a kid in a wheelchair into a fire.

Now we call him hot wheels.

Sally

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms.

Why did Joe get hit by a bus? Sally was driving it.

Where did Sally go during the bombing? Everywhere!

Crash

Did you see that car crash today where the guy got the entire left side of his body cut off?

He's all right now.

Nose

Q: What happens when an Asian with an erection walks into a wall?

A: He breaks his nose.

Plane

The people in the tower ordered a pepperoni pizza, but all they got was a plane.

Road

Why did the kid cross the road?

Because he wasn't wearing his seat belt! 😂