Accident jokes
I told my friend to fly a plane,
But he threw a ramp off a roof.
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N. Oh my gosh, I'm peeing on my shoe, no one knows about it yet!
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get hit by a bus.
If at first you don't succeed, oh well, so much for skydiving.
What is it called when someone is in a wheelchair and in a fire?
Hot Wheels...
When I finished high school, I wanted to take my graduation money and buy myself a motorcycle, but my mom said no.
See, she had a brother who died in a horrible motorcycle accident when he was eighteen, and I could just have his motorcycle.
What's black and sits at the top of the stairs?
A paraplegic after a house fire.
What's yellow and can't swim? A bus full of kids.
I can't tell what's farther, the Great Wall of China, or how far Paul Walker flew out of his windshield.
A man ate a glue stick. It tasted bad. He died. Hahahahah!
This 15-year-old girl wanted a cross on her room with a long nail on the end over her bed. Unfortunately, it killed her dad because it fell off the wall.
(Do you get the joke?)
(Her dad was on her, and it fell and killed him.)
I would make a joke about Kobe, but I don't think it would fly very well.
What happens when a strawberry gets run over crossing the street? Traffic jam.
Did you hear about the guy whose left side was cut off? He's all right now.
Stephen only died because his wife tripped over the power cord.
I was shocked when I found out my toaster was not waterproof.
One time my friend nutted into my bag of trail mix.
I guess you could say I fucking ate a different kind of nut.
Why did the man with no arms fall off his bike? Someone threw a washing machine at him.
Kobe: Stop doing dark humor!
Me: Why? They don't land well together?
A woman prayed to be a mother everyday for many years until she crossed a road without looking and got hit by a woman driver and died.
When she met God, she asked Him, "How come you didn't answer my prayers?"
God replied, "I did. I kept sending men to rape you, but you kept on choosing to destroy my creations by having an abortion."