I ran into a kid today. Now I'm in jail and I lost my driver's license.
If Kobe missed a shot, his helicopter will too.
There were three Indians that got kicked out of the tribe.
One said, "Me find food," and he came back with a decent size rabbit. The other two asked him what happened. He said, "Me see rabbit, me shoot rabbit, and rabbit fall down dead."
The 2nd Indian, "Me find food." He came back with a good sized deer. The other two asked him what happened. He said, "Me see deer, me shoot deer, deer fall down dead."
The third Indian said, "Me find food." He came back crawling, missing a leg and an arm, and he was all cut up. The others asked what happened. He said, "Me see train, me shoot train, train no stop!"
Humpty Dumpty felled off the wall, his mom did a terri-fried call. He got hurt in a egg-cident & it never got eggs-elent. When the eggs-plant was over, he got told to use the mower. It happened too fast, he watched the very last. Next he died, eaten all fried.
My wife was run over.
So Fred accidentally cut off John's ear with his spade. John and Fred were digging a ditch when Fred made a careless swipe with his spade and cut off John's ear.
"Help me find it in all this mud," said John. "If we find it they can sew it back on."
After a couple of minutes, Fred triumphantly shouted, "Here it is", handing the ear to John.
"That's not it," said John, throwing the ear back into the muddy ditch. "Mine had a pencil behind it."
So Helen Keller walked into a bar, then a stool, then a table, then a door....
Jack and Jill went up a hill his condom ripped and now they are from Alabama
Why did princess Diana cross the road?
-she wasn't wearing a seat belt
Why couldn’t Billy go to school today? The bus driver hit sally
What's the difference between a plane and a woman
At least the the plane doesn't give you herpes when it crashes at your place
I could never forget my grandfathers last words. "Stop shaking the ladd-"
i got hit by a bus but the bus was my ex
A little boy and a little girl were taking a bath.
The little girl looked down and said, "What's that?"
"That's my little red sports car," said the little boy.
The little boy looked down and said, "What's that?"
"That's my little red sports car garage," said the little girl.
A few seconds later, the little girl said, "How about you put your little red sports car in my little red sports car garage?"
"Sure," said the little boy.
The little boy's mother was downstairs and heard this blood curdling scream. She ran upstairs. Once she got there, she saw blood all over the bathtub. "What happened?!" she said.
"Well, Johnny tried to put his little red sports car in my little red sports car garage...but it didn't fit...so I cut the back wheels off..."
there was a man in a wheelchair and he got knocked out in front of a bus he had a wheelie good life.
my friend died by a truck, why can't I get run over
I was anonymous, with the previous jokes. I will now go by "I can fly! *falls*"
What's black and white and red all over? A mime i hit with my car.
Today sucked my freind fell of a cliff and I went to jail
why did gemma fall off her bike? she got hit by a fridge
What do you call a toddler lying in the middle of the road? Speed bump.
