Accident jokes
Give Kobe a plane ticket, he'll fly for the trip, but give Kobe a helicopter and he'll fly for the rest of his life.
I'M GOING TO HELL FOR THIS!!!
Grandpa's last words: "Why do you have a chainsaw?"
Little Johnny walks in on his mom taking a shower and slips and falls under her, and he says, "What's that, Mama?" She says, "That's just an old bear." He says, "He's a mean bear." She says, "Why's that?" He says, "He's got blood in on eye and shit in the other."
One day, a skeleton wasn't laughing. Someone asked him why he was not laughing. It turns out he fell and broke his bone, his funny bone that is.
I farted, try me. You farted? Oh no, we all farted.
The plane crashed, but I did too on a pillow.
I saw a helicopter on January 26, 2020. Then Kobe was on the news.
While I was walking on the road, a cat crossed my road, and 5 min later I found it fell in the gutter.
I pushed a kid in a wheelchair into the school fire and said, "Hot wheels."
I still remember my granddad's last words,
"Are you still holding the ladder?"
Why is my plane delayed?
Because someone hit the Sears Tower.
I could never forget my grandfather's last words. "Stop shaking the ladd-"
What’s black, white, and red? A nun that fell down a 100 flight of stairs.
What’s black, white, and laughing? The nun that pushed her!
Suck on a finger, once bite it off, taste it, put some ketchup on it, wait, I'm making a mess, I bit it off!
I don't like making Kobe jokes... they always crash and burn.
What do you call a drunk, depressed man that skydives?
Splattered.
What is the difference between a plane and a helicopter?
A plane hits a building, but a helicopter hits the floor.
Haha, dead.
People said that Kobe could fly so high, but that did not end well.
Stephen Hawking's death was purely accidental. He clicked “shut-down” instead of “sleep”.
What's the difference between a golfer and a skydiver?
A golfer goes *whack* "darn" and a skydiver goes "darn" *whack.*