Accident jokes
My friend was in a wheelchair, so I rolled him in fire. Now I call him Hot Wheels.
There was an animal on my porch, then I shot it in the head. It was strange that it had coffee in its hand. I flipped it over, and it was an animal, but it looked a lot like my kid.
I got suspended at school today. I lit a kid's wheelchair on fire and called him "Hot Wheels."
The other day my computer crashed. Luckily, there were no injuries.
I wondered why the baseball was getting closer...
Then it hit me!
Did you hear about the cheese factory explosion?
There was nothing left but de-brie.
When I was going downstairs, Sum Ting Wong fell, and doctors say Sum Ting Wong happened.
What is the world's strongest material?
The tree that Paul Walker hit.
Why did Harry fall out of the boat?
Because he's hooked!
Why did Sally drop her ice cream?
Because she got hit by a bus.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Not Sally.
What's yellow and can't swim?
A school bus full of screaming children.
"Roses are red. Violets are red. My parents' bed is red. Oh shit, I set the house on fire!"
What is it called when someone is in a wheelchair and in a fire?
Hot Wheels...
What's black and sits at the top of the stairs?
A paraplegic after a house fire.
When I finished high school, I wanted to take my graduation money and buy myself a motorcycle, but my mom said no.
See, she had a brother who died in a horrible motorcycle accident when he was eighteen, and I could just have his motorcycle.
A man ate a glue stick. It tasted bad. He died. Hahahahah!
I can't tell what's farther, the Great Wall of China, or how far Paul Walker flew out of his windshield.
I would make a joke about Kobe, but I don't think it would fly very well.
Yesterday I saw a guy spill all his Scrabble letters on the road.
I asked him, “What’s the word on the street?”
What happens when a strawberry gets run over crossing the street? Traffic jam.