Accident jokes
Why did Harry fall out of the boat?
Because he's hooked!
Why did Sally drop her ice cream?
Because she got hit by a bus.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Not Sally.
I wondered why the baseball was getting closer...
Then it hit me!
I'll never forget my aunt's last words before she died: "Can you stop shaking the ladder, please?"
The other day my computer crashed. Luckily, there were no injuries.
Memes
ohio lol
A blonde accidentally kills a cop and calls the police.
She exclaims, “Hello, is this 911?”
The other person, “Yes, what is your emergency?”
The blonde answered, “I called to inform you that you’re 910 now.”
What's yellow and can't swim?
A school bus full of screaming children.
"Roses are red. Violets are red. My parents' bed is red. Oh shit, I set the house on fire!"
I saw a bicycler flip over a gutter. It was pretty grate.
A man is watching TV and his wife comes down and says, "I just fell down the stairs, did you not hear me?"
Man, "Sorry, I thought it was the start of Eastenders!"
A man walking on his roof, carrying an axe. He drops it on someone below him and says, "Sorry, it was an axe-cident!"
If at first you don't succeed, oh well, so much for skydiving.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get hit by a bus.
I had a friend who got shot in the head.
Guess you could say he was...
Blown Away!
Why did Sally fall off the swing?
Because she was hit by a bus.
What is it called when someone is in a wheelchair and in a fire?
Hot Wheels...
What's black and sits at the top of the stairs?
A paraplegic after a house fire.
A man ate a glue stick. It tasted bad. He died. Hahahahah!
When I finished high school, I wanted to take my graduation money and buy myself a motorcycle, but my mom said no.
See, she had a brother who died in a horrible motorcycle accident when he was eighteen, and I could just have his motorcycle.
I can't tell what's farther, the Great Wall of China, or how far Paul Walker flew out of his windshield.