Accident jokes
So I left my mom with my baby, and I was terrified when I came back; the wheelchair was in the water.
His new music video has been leaked. It’s called “Living in a Tree.”
There was an animal on my porch, then I shot it in the head. It was strange that it had coffee in its hand. I flipped it over, and it was an animal, but it looked a lot like my kid.
What’s yellow and can sink a bus full of kids?
Why did Sally drop her ice cream?
Because she got hit by a bus.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Not Sally.
Memes
I'll never forget my aunt's last words before she died: "Can you stop shaking the ladder, please?"
The other day my computer crashed. Luckily, there were no injuries.
Why did Harry fall out of the boat?
Because he's hooked!
I wondered why the baseball was getting closer...
Then it hit me!
What's yellow and can't swim?
A school bus full of screaming children.
"Roses are red. Violets are red. My parents' bed is red. Oh shit, I set the house on fire!"
What is it called when someone is in a wheelchair and in a fire?
Hot Wheels...
What's black and sits at the top of the stairs?
A paraplegic after a house fire.
If at first you don't succeed, oh well, so much for skydiving.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get hit by a bus.
Did you hear about the guy whose left side was cut off? He's all right now.
What happens when a strawberry gets run over crossing the street? Traffic jam.
Yesterday I saw a guy spill all his Scrabble letters on the road.
I asked him, “What’s the word on the street?”
Why did the chicken cro-
UM, ACTUALLY, THE CHICKEN CAN'T CROSS THE ROAD UNLESS IT'S UNDER SOME ROOSTER OR HEN SUPERVISION OR ELSE THE CAR WILL CRASH THE CHICKEN, AND THEY WILL DIE. 🤓
A man ate a glue stick. It tasted bad. He died. Hahahahah!