Accident jokes
If there was a girl and a boy and the boy fell, what did the boy do to the girl?
He fell for her.
Joe mama so fat, when she did the IShowSpeed dance, she fell five floors down.
There was this intern that worked at an orphanage, and she burnt it down. Luckily, she doesn't have to tell her parents.
What is the best way to catch a baby from falling off the roof?
With a pitchfork.
Bin Laden's relatives were killed in a plane crash, lol.
Your forehead is so big, if you fell, you would knock out your whole state cold.
I love how all these jokes about different accidents have happened, but why isn't anyone writing about how much of an accident we all were?
There was a fire at my high school when I was in Year 7.
When the local newspaper interviewed my teacher, they asked her how she was seeing the "bright side" of it.
She said, "Well, at least our new students got a warm welcome!"
54 students died that day.
Why did the kid drop his ice cream cone?
He got ran over by a bus.
There was a car accident, and the cops pull up to the crime scene to start asking people questions. The police started talking to a blonde lady and said, "What happened here?" She responded by saying, "A car crash." They then asked, "But how did it happen?" She responded, "The cars crashed into each other." They finally said, "But why did it happen?" The lady said, "Oh, I know where you're going with this. It happened because when cars push on the gas pedal, the car goes forward, and they both pushed it, so they both went forward and hit each other." One cop said, "Never mind, ma'am," and they started walking away.
The blonde lady then said, "Oh, and officers, my computer froze. Do you think I should put it in the microwave or in the oven?"
When a guy falls, it hurts them there. When a woman falls, it hurts more.
I was playing laser tag with my ex, but I (wink) didn't realize I had a real gun.
I hit myself on a window yesterday. I really felt the pane.
"So you dropped my instruments on stage?"
"It was only the Bass!"
What were Paul Walker's last words?
I dk probably "WATCH THE FUCKING TREE!"
My BALLS itched when I crashed the plane.
Al Fayed’s son arrives at heaven’s gates and sees his driver.
He shouts “you stupid cunt!”
The driver says, “Watch, Boss?”
Dodi replies...:
“I said I WANT TO FUCK DI IN THE TUNNEL NOT FUCKING DIE IN THE TUNNEL!”
Why did the parachute refuse to open?
Because it had a "fatal attraction" to the ground.
What is the similarity of a bomb and a baby?
When you drop them both, everyone screams.
Why did the orphan cross the road?
Because they thought they saw their parents. (Plot twist: the orphan got ran over.)