You're walking on the street when you realize that you're in the road as you feel the horn dying away.
The twin towers are like water bottles.
It's all right if you knock them down as long as you pick up the mess.
How do you stop a baby from drowning?
-Lift up your foot.
Imagine being named Colby and you burn yourself.
My blind friend got ran over by a parked car.
Have you heard about the blind man who saw the accident and the dead man who heard it?
Why did Harry fall out of the boat?
Because he's hooked!
Two tomatoes are walking on a road. Then a car runs over one of them, and the other says: "Hi, ketchup!"
Jack and Jill went up the hill to do it in the water. Jack slipped, his condom ripped, and now they have a daughter.
I accidentally hit an orphan with my car, but I was not worried because he couldn’t tell his parents.
Pass around the roses, their casket full of hoses, crash it, watch it, the water! OH SHIT IT'S GONNA BLOW!
Molly Burke and her mom were on a walk. Molly walked into a bar; her mom laughed and walked under it.
Why did Sally fall off of the swing?
Because she has no arms.
Knock knock.
"Who's there?"
Not Sally.
Don't drink and park.
Accidents cause people.
Poopies in my undies.
What's the point of hiding the screaming speed bump you ran over? You might as well hit it again to A: Stop the screaming. B: Make it look like an actual speed bump. And C... You think it's hilarious the noise it makes when you ran over its stomach.
Jack and Jill went up the hill 'cause Jack took a Viagra.
Jill was drunk, fell to her knee, Jack had his chance, did Jill till 3.
I was at my drumming lesson and I accidentally dropped my drum stick when my sister made a terrible joke.
KA-DOOM-CHA!
u were born on the highway, thats where are all the accidents happen ;)
One time my friend nutted into my bag of trail mix.
I guess you could say I fucking ate a different kind of nut.
