Accident

Accident jokes

An old lady told me to check her balance, so I pushed her off the edge without knowing it was her cash she wanted to check, so I died to help her!

I had bullies behind me on the street, but they were too fat and slow, so they got ran over by a truck that represents fat and slow.

I was camping with my buddy, and there was a fire. We were roasting marshmallows, and there was a vine. I tripped on it and went penis first into the fire, and I said, "Well, there goes your children, stupid ass!"

Be grateful:

You're missing work today because in the past, someone cared enough to leave that banana peel on the stairs.

A rich girl is flying on his helicopter when suddenly it crashes, killing everyone. What was the last thing that went through her head?

The helicopter blade!

*The doctor asking why I've broken 19 bones in the past week*

*My abusive mum- Go on, tell him!*

Well what am I gonna do now...

A kid and his dad went to the park. The kid accidentally steps on a cockroach.

They go home immediately and dad gets the scissors. Now the kid has some balls to play with.

Did you know Princess Diana had dandruff?

Yea, they found her “head and shoulders“ on the backseat of her car.