What is the difference between your dad and a video game?
Your dad doesn’t beat you.
Abuse Jokes
What do priests give children?
Syphilis.
What did the man say in the morning after beating up his wife?
"I woke up Chris Breezy."
What’s the difference between a Catholic and a rabbit?
One has kids to protect from predators, and the other has kids for predators.
Where did Jeffrey Epstein go to college?
Bring them young.
What does broccoli and sex have in common?
If you were forced to have it as a kid, you’re gonna hate it as an adult.
Kid's uncle: "Your mum said you can have your friends round tonight! But I'm gonna have to baby sit today."
Kid: "OK THANK YOU."
(AT BED TIME)
Kid: "Please may you stop touching my leg BEN!"
Ben: "I'm not."
(Turns light on) Kid: "UNCLEEEEE STOP SPILLING MILK OVER ME!!!"
Papa: Johnny, Johnny.
Johnny: Yes, Papa?
Papa: Open wide.
Johnny: HAHAHA.
Papa: *unzips pants*
Johnny: *crying* No, Papa!
Did you hear about Johnny Depp's shelter for abused women? It's going as well as Michael Jackson's children's hospital!
What did the teacher say when he raped his naughty student?
"Face the wall!"
What is it called when you whoop a donkey?
A whooped ass and apparently some people get that everyday from their drunk dads.
You know what you could use? An orphan as a punching bag.
What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
How do you know if a rapist loves you?
He will rape you many times.
What do you get when you cross a chicken and a horse?
An animal abuse warrant.
Ashes to ashes, priests prefer boys, 'cause they don't have to shave their asses.
You know, having an uncle is a good thing sometimes! I get a pair of shoes every week. He says it’s my reward for playing the tickle game with him in his damp and dark basement. It hurts sometimes. But hey, new shoes!
Roses are red, violets are blue, like my hole, Uncle Bill is making me full, better run here he comes!
Yo mama so short, when she tried sniffing cocaine, she couldn’t get high.
Sippin' on promethazine With lean, I fell in love.
I can't put down the cup. I can't put down the cup. I can't put down the cup. I can't put down the cup. I can't put down the cup. I can't put down the cup.
This is not a joke, but if your uncle tells you, "Bend over, touch your toes, I'll show you where the monster goes," don't do it, hehehehehe.
