Abuse jokes

What’s the difference between a doctor and a pedophile?

The doctor doesn’t enjoy giving physicals.

Everyone is able to be stupid, but you're just abusing the privilege.

Woman delivers baby. Doctor takes the baby and throws it, smashing it around the hospital room, drop-kicking it, etc. Mother starts freaking out, being held back by nurses, begging “WHYYYY!!??”. Doctor holds baby upside down by the ankle and says “I’m just fucking with you, it was born dead”.

What do you get when you cross a road with a stalker?

Raped.

When you hear Michael Jackson talk about his "perfect 10," make sure you hide your 10-year-old son.

My son wore his new "Go Vegan" Hoodie for the first time today, and already he's been verbally abused as well as being punched, kicked, & spat on!!!!

And he's not even left the house yet!!!

Why did Trump go to Jeffrey's secret Island?

So he could trump that little bitch!

What's the first thing that a battered woman does when she gets out of the shelter?

My last if she knows what's good for her.

How many altar boys does it take to screw in a light bulb? Depends on how dark the priests' basement is.

Papa: Johnny, Johnny.

Johnny: Yes, Papa?

Papa: Open wide.

Johnny: HAHAHA.

Papa: *unzips pants*

Johnny: *crying* No, Papa!

How many rapists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Punchline: One, but they prefer soda bottles instead.

What's Michael Jackson's favorite thing to do on guitar?

Fingering A minor.

Q: How can you tell that a pedophile likes music?

A: He rapes D minor.

Pedophiles are fucking immature assholes.

What is a nonce's favorite toy...? You.

What’s the difference between air and a six year old?

Air has resistance.

What’s the difference between acne and a Catholic priest?

Acne waits till you’re 13 to come on your face.

Q: What's the difference between rape and marriage?

A: With marriage, you get to keep the screaming woman afterwards.

I like my girls how I like my wine, 12 years locked in the basement.

I like abusing orphans, what are they gonna do, tell their parents?