Abuse

Abuse jokes

Dad

What is the difference between your dad and a video game?

Your dad doesn’t beat you.

Memes

Wife

What did the man say in the morning after beating up his wife?

"I woke up Chris Breezy."

Catholic

What’s the difference between a Catholic and a rabbit?

One has kids to protect from predators, and the other has kids for predators.

Sex

What does broccoli and sex have in common?

If you were forced to have it as a kid, you’re gonna hate it as an adult.

Uncle

Kid's uncle: "Your mum said you can have your friends round tonight! But I'm gonna have to baby sit today."

Kid: "OK THANK YOU."

(AT BED TIME)

Kid: "Please may you stop touching my leg BEN!"

Ben: "I'm not."

(Turns light on) Kid: "UNCLEEEEE STOP SPILLING MILK OVER ME!!!"

Papa

Papa: Johnny, Johnny.

Johnny: Yes, Papa?

Papa: Open wide.

Johnny: HAHAHA.

Papa: *unzips pants*

Johnny: *crying* No, Papa!

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  • Shelter

    Did you hear about Johnny Depp's shelter for abused women? It's going as well as Michael Jackson's children's hospital!

    Rape

    What did the teacher say when he raped his naughty student?

    "Face the wall!"

    Ass

    What is it called when you whoop a donkey?

    A whooped ass and apparently some people get that everyday from their drunk dads.

    Orphan

    You know what you could use? An orphan as a punching bag.

    What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?

    Priest

    Ashes to ashes, priests prefer boys, 'cause they don't have to shave their asses.

    Pedophile

    What's the difference between a Catholic priest and a pedophile? There isn't a difference.

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  • Pedophile

    What kind of file do you need to turn a 15 mm hole into a 40 mm hole? A pedophile.