Abuse jokes
What do you say to a woman with two black eyes?
Nothing, you ain't already told her twice.
You know why pedophiles get away with molesting children?
Because who are they gonna tell? Not their parents.
Ashes to ashes, priests prefer boys, 'cause they don't have to shave their asses.
Roses are red, violets are blue, If I slapped you, that’d be animal abuse.
What's the difference between a Catholic priest and a pedophile?
One is Catholic and the other is a priest.
My son wore his new "Go Vegan" Hoodie for the first time today, and already he's been verbally abused as well as being punched, kicked, & spat on!!!!
And he's not even left the house yet!!!
What is the difference between your dad and a video game?
Your dad doesn’t beat you.
What does broccoli and sex have in common?
If you were forced to have it as a kid, you’re gonna hate it as an adult.
What did the man say in the morning after beating up his wife?
"I woke up Chris Breezy."
What’s the difference between a Catholic and a rabbit?
One has kids to protect from predators, and the other has kids for predators.
Why did Jeffrey get blood on his shoe?
Because this teen just started her period!
My friend looks more red than Mr. Krabs.
It’s weird, I could’ve sworn I saw the silhouette of a belt hurling towards him the other day.
What's the difference between a Baptist and a rapist? The priests.
Q: What is Chris Brown's #1 Hit? A: Rihanna
What's red and got makeup all over?
A Bill Cosby victim.
Why does Aaron like men? Because his dad beats him.
What did the 12-year-old boy say to the priest?
Nothing, because his mouth was full.
Did you hear about Johnny Depp's shelter for abused women? It's going as well as Michael Jackson's children's hospital!
Kid's uncle: "Your mum said you can have your friends round tonight! But I'm gonna have to baby sit today."
Kid: "OK THANK YOU."
(AT BED TIME)
Kid: "Please may you stop touching my leg BEN!"
Ben: "I'm not."
(Turns light on) Kid: "UNCLEEEEE STOP SPILLING MILK OVER ME!!!"
Papa: Johnny, Johnny.
Johnny: Yes, Papa?
Papa: Open wide.
Johnny: HAHAHA.
Papa: *unzips pants*
Johnny: *crying* No, Papa!