Abuse

Abuse jokes

Pedophile

You know why pedophiles get away with molesting children?

Because who are they gonna tell? Not their parents.

Priest

What's the difference between a Catholic priest and a pedophile?

One is Catholic and the other is a priest.

Son

My son wore his new "Go Vegan" Hoodie for the first time today, and already he's been verbally abused as well as being punched, kicked, & spat on!!!!

And he's not even left the house yet!!!

Catholic

What’s the difference between a Catholic and a rabbit?

One has kids to protect from predators, and the other has kids for predators.

Memes

Period

Why did Jeffrey get blood on his shoe?

Because this teen just started her period!

Friend

My friend looks more red than Mr. Krabs.

It’s weird, I could’ve sworn I saw the silhouette of a belt hurling towards him the other day.

Dad

What is the difference between your dad and a video game?

Your dad doesn’t beat you.

Wife

What did the man say in the morning after beating up his wife?

"I woke up Chris Breezy."

Sex

What does broccoli and sex have in common?

If you were forced to have it as a kid, you’re gonna hate it as an adult.

Shelter

Did you hear about Johnny Depp's shelter for abused women? It's going as well as Michael Jackson's children's hospital!

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  • Uncle

    Kid's uncle: "Your mum said you can have your friends round tonight! But I'm gonna have to baby sit today."

    Kid: "OK THANK YOU."

    (AT BED TIME)

    Kid: "Please may you stop touching my leg BEN!"

    Ben: "I'm not."

    (Turns light on) Kid: "UNCLEEEEE STOP SPILLING MILK OVER ME!!!"

    Papa

    Papa: Johnny, Johnny.

    Johnny: Yes, Papa?

    Papa: Open wide.

    Johnny: HAHAHA.

    Papa: *unzips pants*

    Johnny: *crying* No, Papa!

    Rape

    What did the teacher say when he raped his naughty student?

    "Face the wall!"

    Ass

    What is it called when you whoop a donkey?

    A whooped ass and apparently some people get that everyday from their drunk dads.

    Orphan

    You know what you could use? An orphan as a punching bag.

    What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?