Abuse jokes
What do you get when you cross a chicken and a horse?
An animal abuse warrant.
Ashes to ashes, priests prefer boys, 'cause they don't have to shave their asses.
I can't sit down anymore... My dad went too far this time.
What's the difference between a Catholic priest and a pedophile? There isn't a difference.
What kind of file do you need to turn a 15 mm hole into a 40 mm hole? A pedophile.
Sippin' on promethazine With lean, I fell in love.
I can't put down the cup. I can't put down the cup. I can't put down the cup. I can't put down the cup. I can't put down the cup. I can't put down the cup.
Q. What does Jeffrey Epstein get his sex partners for their birthday? A. Crayons.
Yo mama so short, when she tried sniffing cocaine, she couldn’t get high.
This is not a joke, but if your uncle tells you, "Bend over, touch your toes, I'll show you where the monster goes," don't do it, hehehehehe.
You know, having an uncle is a good thing sometimes! I get a pair of shoes every week. He says it’s my reward for playing the tickle game with him in his damp and dark basement. It hurts sometimes. But hey, new shoes!
Why do I call my priest daddy?
Because he raped my mom when she was 13. She's 27 now.
Why do Catholic priests suck on the cock of a young boy in his parish?
Because it tastes like a Vienna sausage.
What’s the relationship between a pedophile and a light bulb? They're both meant for dark rooms.
How do you know if a rapist loves you?
He will rape you many times.
If you punch an orphan, what are they going to do? Tell their parents?
What kind of file turns a 15mm hole into a 40mm hole?
A pedophile.
Watching "50 Shades of Grey" was more painful than my uncle fisting me as a kid.
Random person: Imma smack you so hard your skin pigment changes!
Me: Who the hell do you think you are? Michael Jackson’s dad?
*The doctor asking why I've broken 19 bones in the past week*
*My abusive mum- Go on, tell him!*
Well what am I gonna do now...
What is a nonce's favorite toy...? You.