Abuse jokes

What’s the difference between Isaac Newton and my Dad?

Isaac Newton didn’t beat me half to death with a pipe wrench.

What’s the best part of raping an 11 year old girl?

Getting to kill the little bitch after you’ve finished with her.

You see this guy's sense, bahh? If it was a cartoon, it would be an avatar. Cause why?

Anytime he needs it most, it vanishes. 😹💔

Na only this guy I know say him trouser fat pass his bank account. 😹😹😹

That's if you even have an account. 😹😹💔😹💔💔😹😹

So I saw a bag full of children near a dumpster. I guess we know where the orphans are when the parents didn’t want them.

Wouldn’t want to hope a Catholic priest comes along, otherwise the priest will have new sex toys.

Why are pedophiles good at playing guitar?

Because they are good at fingering A minor.

I like abusing orphans, what are they gonna do, tell their parents?

Why can't you make jokes about catholic priests?

Because they blow up in your face.

Daddy, I really miss you. Mummy changed my name to Tickle Timpson. Anyway, daddy I forgive you for abusing me.

There's a new cooking programme on BBC1. The contestants are victims of domestic violence. It's called "Can't Cook... Right Hook."

How many babies does it take to paint a wall red? Depends, how hard can you throw them?

What do you say to a woman with two black eyes?

Nothing, you ain't already told her twice.

Roses are red, violets are blue, If I slapped you, that’d be animal abuse.

You know why pedophiles get away with molesting children?

Because who are they gonna tell? Not their parents.

What's the difference between a Catholic priest and a pedophile?

One is Catholic and the other is a priest.

What do you call a virgin kid locked in a room with a pedophile? Past tense.

My friend looks more red than Mr. Krabs.

It’s weird, I could’ve sworn I saw the silhouette of a belt hurling towards him the other day.

Why did Jeffrey get blood on his shoe?

Because this teen just started her period!

What's red and got makeup all over?

A Bill Cosby victim.

Q: What is Chris Brown's #1 Hit? A: Rihanna