Watching "50 Shades of Grey" was more painful than my uncle fisting me as a kid.
What kind of file do you need to turn a 15 mm hole into a 40 mm hole? A pedophile.
*The doctor asking why I've broken 19 bones in the past week*
*My abusive mum- Go on, tell him!*
Well what am I gonna do now...
What is a nonce's favorite toy...? You.
What's the best thing about being a pedophile? You can choose the fit profession where you find kids most.
Random person: Imma smack you so hard your skin pigment changes!
Me: Who the hell do you think you are? Michael Jackson’s dad?
Why should you wrap your hamsters in duct tape?
So they don't explode when you f*** them.
Who was the meanest man in the world?
He raped Helen Keller and threw her down a well, but not before cutting off her fingers so she couldn't yell for help.
Rape jokes aren’t funny. People like me that are actually victims of rape are triggered by them.
The parents used to hit him.
His parents got into a car crash and died.
He became an orphan in an orphanage. The people there hit him. He looked up and said "Parents?"
Why are orphans very abusive to their kids?
Because they never had loving parents of their own.
I got raped when I was 5 in my princess pajamas by my dad. Nobody laughed at these jokes; they just cried.
7 little children gathered around the bed Bill Cosby's fantasy.
All he wants to do is tickle the kids, it's as plain as can be.
7 cellmates gathered around the bed ready to rape Bill Cosby instead.
Why do pedophiles never cum first?
Because they like to cum in a little behind.
What do you call a cross between a priest and a child?
The cross shoved up the priest’s ass as he ‘downward dogs’ the kid.
I really wanna hit you right now but that would be animal abuse
You abuse me that I have no beards but your sugar daddy shaved them off to look cute 🤔
I would give you a thrashing but that would be animal abuse.
Why did the African child wake up suddenly? Because he was being sexually abused.
My uncle is a horrible ventriloquist. He put his hand up my butt, but he told me NOT to say anything.
