Abortion jokes

Welcome to Antonio’s pizza and abortion, where yesterday’s loss is today’s sauce!

The parents who left their kids on the side of the road should have thought twice and got an abortion.

I can tell why the Founding Fathers adopted the Constitution, because nobody likes it.

Tushar’s Fortnite skills.

What does an abortion joke and a fetus have in common... The joke never gets old, and neither does the kid.

I was about to make a baby joke but then decided to abort.

My wife purely hates me for me having sex with our daughter.

It's not my fault I couldn't wait to get out of the abortion clinic!

What’s red, nine inches long, and makes my girlfriend cry every time she sees it?

Her abortion.

I don't get why people don't like my abortion jokes. Do they have a stick up their ass? Wait, that's the other hole.

Are you a school? Cause I wanna shoot some kids inside of you.

My gf told me she was pregnant. So I punched her in the stomach.

She asked me "Why the hell did you do that?!?!?" "I wanted to let you know I'm pro abortion."

Q: Name a murderer?

Aborted fetus: My mum.

Why did the failed abortion climb up the woman’s leg?

It was homesick.

Abortion is bad.

What is Jay?

Phat.

Ahem... if somebody you don't like, or somebody random just calls you in general,

answer the phone with this:

"Hello, thank you for choosing Mama's Pizzeria/Abortion Clinic, your loss is our sauce, how may I help you?"

or

"Hello, this is David's Orphanage, you make them, we take them, how may I help you?"

Some people's reactions are priceless, and then they wonder about your mental health.

What do you call it when an Arab girl has an abortion?

Removing a bomb.

Why do more women than men oppose abortion? Because they prefer not to get raped.

So, I was f**king my daughter the other night, and I don’t know what was funnier: the looks on my wife’s face when she walked in on me or the fact that the abortion clinic let me keep her.

Abortion is wrong because God wanted the baby to be alive.

Miscarriages are okay because God did not want the baby to be alive.