Abortion jokes
What is Jay?
Phat.
Ahem... if somebody you don't like, or somebody random just calls you in general,
answer the phone with this:
"Hello, thank you for choosing Mama's Pizzeria/Abortion Clinic, your loss is our sauce, how may I help you?"
or
"Hello, this is David's Orphanage, you make them, we take them, how may I help you?"
Some people's reactions are priceless, and then they wonder about your mental health.
Why do more women than men oppose abortion? Because they prefer not to get raped.
So, I was f**king my daughter the other night, and I don’t know what was funnier: the looks on my wife’s face when she walked in on me or the fact that the abortion clinic let me keep her.
What do you call it when an Arab girl has an abortion?
Removing a bomb.
Abortion is wrong because God wanted the baby to be alive.
Miscarriages are okay because God did not want the baby to be alive.
Where is the worst place to lock your keys in your car?
The anti-abortion clinic because you have to go back in and ask for a coat hanger.
Why do more men than women support abortion? So they can keep raping women and the victims will just abort their kids to not have to relive the experience!
What's the motto for a pizza place that's also an abortion clinic: Your loss is our sauce.
Men play video games to let their inner child out, while women do abortions.
My abortion.
Eat my butt.
What is the difference between a feminist and a gorilla?
At least gorillas don't abort their own.
Knock knock.
Who is there?
Cows go.
Cows go who?
No, cows go moooooooooooo, not whooooooooooooooooooooo!
Feminism.
What's the only type of abortion Republicans will never do anything to prevent?
A school shooting.
Ethan
If Republicans really wanted to enact pro-life legislation, they would ban guns, not abortion.
Welcome to Joe's pizza, you make 'em, we bake 'em.
I was dying when I called my sister and she said, "Hi, this is Pepperoni's pizza and abortion clinic; your loss, our sauce. How may I help you today?"