Worst Jokes Ever
This place is gonna boom in a few days, just like the towers.
Why did the Invisible Man turn down a job offer? He couldn’t see himself doing it.
I was excited to hear Apple might start selling its own cars until I learned they wouldn’t support Windows.
Someone complimented my parking today! They left a sweet note on my windshield that said, “Parking fine.”
I hate it when people say age is only a number. Age is clearly a word.
What’s Forrest Gump’s password? 1forrest1.
If I ever find the doctor who screwed up my limb replacement surgery... I’ll kill him with my bear hands.
Who were the greenest Presidents in US history? The Bushes.
I only seem to get sick on weekdays. I must have a weekend immune system.
After an unsuccessful harvest, why did the farmer decide to try a career in music?
Because he had a ton of sick beets.
Why should you never make height jokes about dwarfs?
It goes right over their head.
What’s something you can say in a grocery store and in bed?
"Thanks for coming."
I don’t like to make jokes around dwarfs.
Simply because they look up to me.
Why did Little Johnny drop his ice cream?
Because he got hit by a bus.
What’s one thing you can say during a wedding and in bed?
I didn’t know we were having seafood tonight!
What’s one thing you can say during family dinner and in bed?
"Will there be seconds?"
What do you call a Mexican with one leg?
Border hopper.
Why do dwarfs do drugs?
To get high.
What do alcoholics and amputees have in common?
They are both legless.
What did the rapper name his new DOG?
Lil Bark.