Worst Jokes Ever
Why did Beethoven have trouble finding a music teacher? Because his teacher was Haydn.
Did you know that Iceland is only one sea away from Ireland?
How do you cover 12 holes with one hole?
Take a flute and shove it up your ass.
Arnold Schwarzenegger was asked if he wanted to upgrade to Windows 10. He replied, "I still love Vista, baby."
Why was Han Solo so suspicious when he put his penis inside Princess Leia for the first time?
Because it was Luke warm.
What's the difference between a gay and a freezer?
The freezer doesn't fart when you pull the meat out.
Why couldn't a lifeguard save the hippie? -- Because he was too far out, man.
I wanted to learn how to drive a stick shift, but I couldn't find a manual.
An Irish guy walks out of a bar....
"Mom? Don't freak out, but I'm in the hospital."
"Aaron, you've been a doctor for over 8 years now, please stop starting every phone conversation we have with that."
There was a blackout in my neighborhood last night. The police told us to stay inside until they shot him.
What is black and sits at the top of the stairs? -- Steven Hawking after a house fire.
What does a cannibal call a wheelchair user? -- Meals on wheels.
What do you call disabled people in a hot tub? -- Vegetable soup.
Marriage is like a deck of cards.
In the beginning, all you need is two hearts and a diamond.
By the end, you wish you had a club and a spade.
How do you get a nun pregnant? -- Dress her up as an alter boy.
Yo mama so fat, when she walked by the TV, I missed three episodes.
Yo mama so fat, she got baptized at SeaWorld.
Yo mama so poor, the ducks throw bread at her.
Yo mama so stupid she thinks Taco Bell is a Mexican phone company.