Worst Jokes Ever
What should we want?
Racecars.
When should we want them?
NEOWWWWWWWWWWWM!
What do Drake and math have in common? They’re both hard for kids.
I don’t understand why Christians are so against body piercings. Didn’t Jesus have four?
What do you call a gay drive-by?
A fruit roll up.
“Dad, can you explain to me what a solar eclipse is?”
No sun.
It was women driving the planes for 9/11.
Why is it a bad idea to eat a clock? Because it's so time-consuming.
What’s the difference between weed and pussy?
If you can smell weed from across the room, it means the weed's good.
What does a gynecologist and delivery driver have in common?
Whenever they’re hungry, they can just scrape a little cheese off the top of the box.
Why can’t Americans play chess?
They lost 2 towers.
Why can’t orphans have phones?
Because it has a home button!
Why are orphans so bad at baseball?
Because they can’t get a home run.
What song do supportive parents of a closeted child love?
“The Son Will Come Out Tomorrow.”
Being the first to move in chess.
It’s a white privilege.
Roses are red, violets are blue, and if you're my friend, I'll be there till the end.
I once saw a one-handed man in a second-hand store. I told him, “I don’t think they have what you’re looking for, sir.”
Cop: "I'm arresting you for downloading the entire Wikipedia."
Man: "Wait! I can explain everything!"
I just broke up with my mathematician girlfriend. She was obsessed with an X.
I'd tell a bad baby joke, but I decided to abort.
Why can’t orphans have phones?
Because it has a home button.
Why don’t orphans play baseball?
Because they can’t get a home run.