Worst Jokes Ever
What's the hardest part about being a pedophile?
Fitting in.
I met a guy in a wheelchair today. His face was battered and bruised. "What happened to your face?" I asked.
"I'm a Paralympian," he replied.
"Boxing?"
"No, ... hurdles."
A pedophile and a little boy are walking into the woods late at night.
The little boy says, "I'm scared."
The pedophile says, "You think you're scared? I have to walk back alone!"
Why do pedophiles never win a race?
Because they are always coming in a little behind.
What did the pedophile say when he got out of prison?
I feel like a kid again.
A priest, a rapist, a pedophile, and a homosexual walk into a bar.
He orders a drink.
I was raised a Catholic, and my priest told me when I was 12, "God is watching you when you masturbate."
I said, "Is God a pedophile too, Father?"
Say what you want against pedophiles, but they slow down in school zones.
What do you call a Chinese billionaire?
Cha Ching.
My doctor called me fat. I told him I wanted a second opinion and he said, "OK, you're ugly too."
What's the difference between Stephen Hawking and the computer he's hooked up to? The computer runs.
What do you call 100 rabbits walking backwards?
A receding hare line.
A prisoner was told how he'll be executed. Needless to say, he was shocked.
Chuck Norris once heard nothing can kill him. So he tracked down nothing and killed it.
My friend can't afford to pay his water bill anymore, so I sent him a card, "Get well soon."
The Pentagon is changing the nuclear codes to over 140 characters, ...
so Trump can't tweet it.
A cobra once bit Chuck Norris. After hours of agonising pain... it died.
Confucius say, man who runs behind car will get exhausted, but man who runs in front of car will get tired.
A blind man walks into a bar, and a table, and a door, and a staircase.
What do you call a dog with no legs? -- Doesn't matter what you call him, he's not coming.