Worst Jokes Ever
My wife left me for an Indian guy. I know he's going to treat her well, I heard they worship cows.
According to a recent survey, replacing words with the names of musical instruments in a sentence often goes undetected.
An atom loses an electron... It says, "Man, I really gotta keep an ion them."
No matter how kind you are, German children are kinder.
The three unwritten rules of life:
1. 2. 3.
You can tell a lot about a woman from her ankles. If they are on your shoulders, she probably likes you.
Why didn't anyone react when the king farted? -- It was a noble gas.
My poor knowledge of Greek mythology has always been my Achilles' elbow.
What's the difference between Dubai and Abu Dhabi? -- People in Dubai don't like the Flintstones but people in Abu Dhabi doooo.
Why do cows wear bells?
Because their horns don't work.
9 out of 10 Americans are stupid... I'm so glad I'm in the 1%.
What do you call a girl with an hourglass figure? -- A waist of time.
After God created 24 hours of alternating darkness and light, one of the angels asked him, "What are you going to do now?"
God said, "I think I'm going to call it a day."
What's the difference between a hippie chick and a hockey player? The hockey player showers after 3 periods.
I was going to buy a pocket calculator. But then I thought, who cares how many pockets I have?
Apparently, Monica Lewinsky didn't vote for Hillary Clinton this election. She said the last Clinton presidency left a bad taste in her mouth.
The furniture store keeps calling me back... But all I wanted was that one nightstand.
Why did the Star Wars movies come out in the sequence 4, 5, 6, 1, 2, 3? -- Because Yoda was in charge of the sequence.
What does a robot do at the end of a one night stand? -- He nuts and bolts.
Today someone was killed with a starter pistol. Police think it might be race related.