Worst Jokes Ever
Pedophile: You dropped your candy.
Girl: Thanks!
Pedophile stares as she slowly bends over to pick up her candy.
Pedophile: It looks a bit dirty, do you wanna come back to my house and get a new one?
Girl: How far is your house?
Pedophile: It's that white one right over there.
Girl: You mean that van next to a dumpster?
Pedophile: Yep, it's that one.
Girl:.... Sure! :P
Audience:.........Dumbass girl.
How do you stop a baby from crawling around in a circle on the floor?
You nail its other hand to the floor.
What's the best part about plowing your cousin?
- It makes your sister jealous.
Did you know that towels are the leading cause of dry skin?
I accidentally drank a little food coloring last night. I ended up dying inside.
I was walking down the street one day and I passed the gun store. I walked in and everything was half off. I didn't know back to school sales had started already.
What does a pizza delivery man and a gynecologist have in common?
They can both smell it, but they can’t eat it.
What do Chinese parents hate the most?
A newborn daughter...
There was a guy who got his entire left side cut off. Don’t worry, he is all right now.
Friend: How dark is your humor?
Me: It picks cotton.
A police officer writes a ticket for a car not being parked correctly. The driver asks why. When he realizes he is parked poorly, he responds, "Oh. I'm terribly sorry. You see, I'm so gay I can't even park straight."
A man looks at his friend and says, "If you and a friend go camping and you two get really drunk, and in the morning you wake up with a condom in your butt, would you tell anyone?" The friend says in a disgusted tone, "No." So the man says, "Okay, let's go camping."
What’s the worst part about breaking up with a Japanese person
You have to drop the bomb twice before they get the message
Yo mama so stupid, she thought Fruit Ninja was a gay weeaboo!
Why did Trump decide to build the wall?
Because China built a wall and they do not have any Mexicans.
If you’re waiting for the waiter at a restaurant, aren’t you the waiter?
How do you know that the U.S. sucks at chess?
They lost two towers.
What do terrorists do on 9/11? They have a game of Jenga.
Why do priests appreciate educated children?
They don't spit.
What does a priest hold on to when having sex?
He holds on to the schoolbag.