Worst Jokes Ever
My son is so ungrateful. I bought him a trampoline and all he does is sit in his wheelchair and cry all day.
I have a fear of speed bumps. But I am slowly getting over it.
How did the Scottish man find the sheep in the tall grass?
Satisfying.
My mom said the happier a person is when sick, the sooner they get better.
So I went to the hospital, hooked up everyone's breathing masks to laughing gas.
Did you hear about the Pillsbury Dough Boy? He died of a yeast infection.
What is a pedophile's favorite dating site?
Kinder
Yo mama so fat, when she sat on Walmart, the prices went down.
Yo mama so stupid that, when she heard about cookies on the internet, she ate her computer.
What do you get when you combine a priest and lawyer? A Father-in-law.
What do you call a convict in prison for touching little girls? A boy named Brandon.
How did the USA beat Japan in rapping?
By dropping two of the biggest roasts.
What do you say to a pedophile at the beach?
Get out of my son!
Did you fall from heaven? Because you really did a damage on your face.
They are making a movie about clocks.
It’s about time.
What mental illness do terrorists suffer from?
Intermittent Explosive Disorder (IED).
Woman: "Doctor, where are we going?"
Doctor: "To the morgue."
Woman: "I'm not dead yet, doctor."
Doctor: "We're not at the morgue yet, either."
A man broke into Stevie Wonder's house and threatened to kill his wife.
He just turned a blind eye.
Did you know that there is a new drug on the market for lesbians who are suffering from depression? It's called Trycoxagain.
I'm not going to bungee jump. I was born because of broken rubber and I'm not gonna die the same way.
What do you call a sophisticated American?
A Canadian.