Worst Jokes Ever
Better call NASA and tell them there are only going to be 7 planets after I destroy URANUS.
I like my Oreos how I like my victims... Drowning.
You could say Japanese car fans and ancient Egyptians are alike—they both worship Datsun.
The quiet kid starts playing "Pumped Up Kicks" in the parking lot before school.
I started beating my washing machine because it wasn't working, my wife started crying.
What's the difference between dark humor and morbid humor? Dark humor would be saying, "ten babies in one trashcan." Morbid humor would be saying, "one baby in ten trashcans."
Did you know the pool in the Titanic is still full?
What's yellow and can't swim?
A school bus full of disabled children.
Why is Helen Keller's child blind too? She always fed it with a fork!
If I place a slide on the edge of a cliff or a really high building, would going down it be considered "suislide"?
Asking for a friend.
What animal do you always find at a baseball game? A bat.
Hi, welcome to Dave's Orphanage. You make them, we take them. How may I help you?
A man is sitting on a bench at a playground where children are playing. A man named Chris comes up and asks, “Which one is yours?” The man said, “I don’t know, I’m still deciding.”
Being gay sounds like a pain in the ass.
Why did the hedgehog cross the road?
To get to the other side (suicide).
Why did the second hedgehog cross the road?
To see his flatmate.
So, my parents were telling me about this dark joke they made 17 years ago, but they didn't actually tell me the joke.
Why are fire trucks big?
To hang out with the firefighters!
You find yourself stuck in a hole with a murderer, a rapist, and a lawyer. You're armed, but you only have 2 bullets left. What do you do?
Shoot the lawyer. Twice.
I am sick and tired of horror movies; it is always the stupid ones that die first. When you see a guy in a dark, bloody coat and a knife, he ain't there to just look at yah run; don't scream, run!
What is the difference between your girlfriend and a walrus?
One is hairy and smells like fish, and the other is a walrus. You're welcome.