Worst Jokes Ever

Why was Stephen Hawking's wife mad at him?

She caught him having an affair with his shoulder.

What's the difference between dark humor and morbid humor?

Dark humor is 10 babies in a trash can. Morbid humor is 1 baby in 10 trash cans.

When you ask your sister if she wanna smash, but then she grabs the Switch.

What do you call a pineapple in a pun?

A Puneapple.

Why can't Michael Jackson go within 500 meters of a school?

Because he's dead.

What's the difference between a dirty bus station and a lobster with breast implants?

One is a crusty bus station, and the other is a busty crustacean.

I say "cow poop," cows say "moonure."

Your mama so fat, when Santa saw her he said, "Ho, ho, holy s***!"

You want to hear a dirty joke?

This guy and this girl were having sex when the guy's boss called to ask why he wasn't at work. The guy responds, "I'm sick." His boss replies, "You don't sound sick." The guy says, "I'm fucking my sister" and hangs up the phone.

Chuck Norris can do a wheelie on a unicycle.

*School shooting happens* Foreign exchange student: *Sobbing under desk* American student: "First time?"

Chuck Norris and Medusa had a staring contest. Medusa turned to stone.

Remember kids, when you're angry, burn down an orphanage. Then they'll really be living the hard knock life.

Most states: "It's ok, it won't be awkward. We're still friends." Alabama: "She didn't wanna be my girlfriend anymore. But she said she'll still be my sister."

I decided to visit Saudi Arabia with my girlfriend. She and I learned they celebrate Pride month by throwing stones.

My mom told me it's not healthy to stay in my room all day... but the only places I'm allowed to go to are my room and downstairs.

It's ironic that the more other people love you, the more you hate yourself.

The colors red, white, and blue are the colors of freedom. Until they are flashing behind you.

When you are f***ing your girlfriend and then she tells you that you f**k like your guys' dad.

Then you f**k your mom and she says the same thing.

If anyone's gonna be fuckin' my sister, it's gonna be ME!