Worst Jokes Ever

In the hospital, I saw a girl with cancer trying to sleep. The ICU was going beep beep beep. I think that's why she can't sleep, so I turned it off. She's asleep forever now. Nighty night.

My son wore his new "Go Vegan" Hoodie for the first time today, and already he's been verbally abused as well as being punched, kicked, & spat on!!!!

And he's not even left the house yet!!!

The fourth month (symbolizing 41%) on the first day, transgenders mourn for the trans suicides.

That day is called "April Fool's."

Are you angry?

Go bully an orphan!

What are they gonna do, tell their parents?

So I painted my laptop black, hoping it would run faster... Now it doesn't work.

What does the SpongeBob intro and a pedophile have in common?

"Are you ready kids?"

What does a furry call a sexy furry?

A foxy lady!

Why can't Americans play chess?

Because they already lost two towers.

Men should pay for the first date, that’s why it’s called a (men)u.

Then women should do the dishes, that’s why they call it a dish wash(her).

How do you get a party started in Africa?

You put a slice of bread on the ceiling and everyone will be jumping.

Why can't two Asians make a white baby? Because two "Wong's" don't make a white.

Joke: I went to a paraplegic strip club the other day, the place was crawling with pussy.

What's one thing you can say about your house, but not your girlfriend?

"I wish it were this color, why is it leaking there, I need help trimming the grass I mean bushes, I own it."

The Earth was flat until yo mama buried herself.

As a straight son, one day I asked my mom, "Have you ever quit something that you did before?" My mom said, "No, I never quit anything." So I asked my when you give a blow job you ever spit, then my mom said, "What did I say? Quitters are for spitters."