Worst Jokes Ever

"White people can't jump..."

"You must not have seen the Twin Towers on 9/11."

My friend and I were at the mall and decided to try on some necklaces. He said, "I think you should get the one over there." I do. I look at my friend and he’s wearing one with a little extra length so you can adjust it. I asked him, "Did you just break away from your owner to upgrade to clothes and shoes?"

Me and my girlfriend were walking in the woods.

Her: I am scared!

Me: What do you think I feel? I have to walk back alone.

What do you call an emo girl with a flat chest?

A cutting board.

What does Michael Jackson and caviar have so much in common?

They both come on little white crackers.

Your hairline be going up and down like a Formula 1 car!

Crazy? I was crazy once, they put me in a room with rubber rats. Rats make me crazy. Crazy? I was crazy once...

What did Jeffrey Dahmer do after dumping his first boyfriend?

Why did the cow want to be an astronaut?

Because it wanted to see the Milky Way!

Your hairline is so far back it looks like it's been slapped up by Will Smith.

o o a a.

Stop making jokes about 9/11. My dad died in 9/11.

Best pilot of Southern Arabia

Allahu Akbar.

Stop making jokes about 9/11, my dad died in 9/11.

BEST PILOT OF SOUTHERN ARABIA

ALAKBAR

What is the difference between a pencil and a woman?

At least one has a point.

What is the difference between me and food?

Food has a use.

I called my guy friend a cock-sucker the other day. He replied with, "Hey, 20 bucks is 20 bucks."

In the hospital, I saw a girl with cancer trying to sleep. The ICU was going beep beep beep. I think that's why she can't sleep, so I turned it off. She's asleep forever now. Nighty night.