Worst Jokes Ever

What happened when the semicolon broke grammar laws?

It was given two consecutive sentences.

I walked into a room full of men masturbating. They all looked shocked when I didn't stop.

Why does Bill Clinton wear boxers? -- To keep his ankles warm.

Some day, Canada will take over the world. -- And then we'll all be sorry.

9 out of 10 doctors recommend for children to drink water instead of soda. That 1 doctor lives in Flint, Michigan.

Why did Beethoven have trouble finding a music teacher? Because his teacher was Haydn.

Did you know that Iceland is only one sea away from Ireland?

How do you cover 12 holes with one hole?

Take a flute and shove it up your ass.

Why was Han Solo so suspicious when he put his penis inside Princess Leia for the first time?

Because it was Luke warm.

What's the difference between a gay and a freezer?

The freezer doesn't fart when you pull the meat out.

Why couldn't a lifeguard save the hippie? -- Because he was too far out, man.

I wanted to learn how to drive a stick shift, but I couldn't find a manual.

There was a blackout in my neighborhood last night. The police told us to stay inside until they shot him.

What is black and sits at the top of the stairs? -- Steven Hawking after a house fire.

What does a cannibal call a wheelchair user? -- Meals on wheels.

What do you call disabled people in a hot tub? -- Vegetable soup.

Marriage is like a deck of cards.

In the beginning, all you need is two hearts and a diamond.

By the end, you wish you had a club and a spade.

How do you get a nun pregnant? -- Dress her up as an alter boy.

Yo mama so fat, when she walked by the TV, I missed three episodes.

Yo mama so fat, she got baptized at SeaWorld.