Which is faster, hot or cold?
Hot, because you can catch cold.
Worst Jokes Ever
My uncle named his dogs Timex and Rolex. They're his watch dogs.
Did you hear about the guy whose left side was cut off? He's all right now.
What do you call a lazy kangaroo? A pouch potato.
Yo mama so fat that she needs 12 queen size mattresses to go to sleep.
I wanted to buy some camo pants, but I couldn't find any.
If you're fat and transgender, then would you be considered trans fat?
Your mum, your dad, The things you never had.
Why were there only 3,000 Mexicans at the Battle of the Alamo? Cause there were only 4 trucks.
Why is the graveyard so noisy?
Because of all the coffin : )
Yo mama is so ugly that when Santa came to the house and saw a picture of her, he died.
What is the difference between a woman and ice? The ice always comes back.
Yo hairline so far back that you need a magnifying glass to see it.
One twin tower had a girlfriend. The other twin tower had the same girlfriend, so they both went down.
I saw a black man riding a brand new bike, so I went home to check my garage. It’s all good because I still saw mine still chained to the floor begging for food.
Stranger: Do you need hair regrowth products?
Kid: No, my hairline is just far back.
Stranger: Do you need a doctor?
Yo mama so fat that when she gets in the truck, it breaks.
Yo mama so fat that you need a jack stand to get her up.
Why do oranges wear sunscreen? So they don't peel.
What did one plate say to the other plate?
"Dinner's on me."
