Worst Jokes Ever

Worst Jokes Ever

A boy walks up to a girl and says, "I would tell you a joke about my dick, but it's too long." Then the girl says, "Yeah, I would tell you a joke about my pussy, but you'll never get it."

Today was a bad day. There was a man throwing butter and cheese at me, how dairy!

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  • How many cops does it take to change a lightbulb?

    None, because they beat the room for being dark, then arrest the room for being broke.

    They should add an eleventh commandment to the Bible:

    Thou shalt not f... altar boys.

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  • Patient: "I'm starting to forget things."

    Doctor: "Since when have you had this condition?"

    Patient: "What condition?"

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  • "Why do people call Americans excessive?"

    "It was probably because of WWII."

    "Oh, you mean the war where America responded to the destruction of several ships and a harbor and the deaths of a little over a thousand by completely flattening two cities and killing hundreds of thousands of people?"

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  • I asked my uncle why he was living on the streets.

    He said that he wasn't always on the streets, he used to have a job at these two towers. I asked him what happened, and he said two planes happened.

    Rules of Dark humor:

    1. All subject matter can be used, nothing is off limits.

    2. No saying "Me" or "My Life" as a joke. Nobody finds those funny. We want actual good and meaningful jokes.

    3. Don't Repeat Previously Posted Jokes. If you are saying the same joke that the person right before you posted you are just begging for attention and nobody by any means likes that.

    I will add more in the future and be frequent on this site.

    - Sincerely, Zane

    A child asks his teacher to go to the toilet.

    "Before you go, recite the alphabet," the teacher says.

    "a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o q r s t u v w x y z"

    "Good, but where's the p?"

    "Running down my leg."

    What can you say both at a funeral and during sex?

    This would be much better if you were alive.

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  • That awkward moment when you're checking yourself out in the window of a car and you realize there's somebody inside.

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