Worst Jokes Ever
Why was Sally at the hospital after her parents left? Because they put her up for adoption.
Which president has never gone to jail?
Lincoln because he's innocent in a cent, get it?
What did the wind say to the palm tree? "Hold onto your nuts, this is no ordinary blow job."
Why do you never play a game of cards in the jungle? Because there are cheetahs!
You wanna know why the Titanic was split in half? The iceberg hit it from the front and back.
Why does Santa have such a big sack? He only comes once a year.
A cop pulled me over and shouted, "Papers!" I shouted, "Scissors!" and drove off.
My friend, Jackson Huge-T, got raped by Huge-D's.
How do you pet a psychopath's cat?
You get it out of the microwave.
You're at your girlfriend's house for a family dinner. Your GF says, "Daddy, please pass me the salt," when you and her father begin to reach for the salt.
Jack and Jill popped some pills to get a little tipsy.
Jack got a surprise and bloodshot eyes because Jill gave him a roofie.
Roses are red. Walls are made of plaster. Schoolchildren can move fast, But bullets can move faster.
Visiting Alabama? Pop-up dating ads be like: "Never be lonely at cousinsonly.com."
Are you a mirror, because I see myself in you?
So there I was, fucking my sister, and she shouts, "God, you fuck like Dad!" I then said, "Damn, that’s what Mom said."
On Xbox Live, an orphan can say "they f-ed your mom," so you can say, "at least mine didn't die from it."
So, a daughter goes to her dad and says, "Daddy, can I borrow the car?" He then tells her, "You know what to do." So then she proceeds to suck him off, almost immediately pulls out in disgust, and says, "Ugh, tastes like shit." Her dad then said, "Damn, I forgot your brother took the car."
Teacher: Tell me what's the solution of this equation? 30g + 24y + 15a - x^3 = 0
Student: 69 gay = xxx
Teacher: You're out!!!
Student lies down on the floor, and then teacher starts f...ing him ^_*
😂😂😂😂
A pedo is driving down a highway really slowly and gets stopped by the police. The officer asks why he was driving so slowly. The man answers, "I don't wake up the kids."
I have no friends, but then I realize my true friends are anxiety and depression.