Worst Jokes Ever

I love taking my daughter out in the car. Every time we go over a speed bump, I tell her we ran over another dog. 😂

if an emo doesn't get better by Christmas Santas reindeer won't be the only thing jumping off roofs this year

There were four people in a helicopter: Trump, a first-grade kid, a schoolteacher, and the Chinese leader.

There were only three parachutes. The Chinese leader takes one and jumps. The schoolteacher says she has to teach, so she jumps. Trump and the first-grader are left. Trump says, "I've lived my life; you take the last one." So the kid puts on his backpack and jumps. Trump makes it out safe.

What do you call two Mexicans at a country restaurant? "Two beaners in a cracker house."

Once I saw Donald Trump and an orange and couldn’t tell the difference 😂

What do you call a blind German?

A notsee.

Donald: "If I lose this election, I will leave the country."

Joe: "Bi den"

Me having a good day. Going on a walk on a peaceful day.

My depression: hey, what's up!

Me: go away.

My depression: well how rude.

Me: 🙄.

My depression: remember that one time......

Me: no, don't even.

My depression: that we.....

Me: nope.

My depression: *says really fast*: said that one stupid joke that wasn't funny and everybody just stared at you, and then you spilled water all over yourself and it looked like you peed yourself. And you went home and cried yourself to sleep just like you do every single night.

Me: 😳😶😟.

My depression: 😉 don't worry I'll always be here for you.

How do homeless people move where they're living?

They pick up their box and walk away.

I went to a sleepover at my best friend's house. He lives with his grandpa and little brother, his mom and dad. His little brother likes to run around the house naked sometimes. I can't help but notice his grandpa always looks up when he does.

Your forehead is a 20-mile taxi ride from your eyebrows to your hairline.

What are the similarities between an emo and some Christmas lights?

They are both going to be hanging from a tree.

And that concludes your French oral. You can put your trousers back up, and I'll see you on Monday.

A girl tried 77.34 (77.34) times to think of a word opposite of BYE. Then her brother divided the word BYE. 77.34 divided by 100. TRY IT!!

I was going to tell a 9/11 joke, but it was really plane.

Why did the old man fall into the well? He couldn't see that well.

You know how 6 is afraid of 7 because 7 8 9? Well, 10 is afraid because he was in the middle of 9/11.

I told my mom that I have a crush. She replied with: "So you like girls?" I said: "Uhm no no no." BUT I'm lesbian. Someone help, how do I tell her without her hitting me with a belt?

What gets louder as it gets smaller?

A baby in a trash compactor.

If the formula of water is H2O, then what is the formula of ice?

H2O cubed.