Worst Jokes Ever

What instrument does a special ed kid play? An autistic guitar.

Yo mama so fat when she steps on the scale it says, "We want your weight not your phone number."

What do you call a blind German?

A Nazi (not see).

If Will Smith could be in any movie, he would be in "Find My Hairline."

I bought my fat wheelchair son a treadmill for his birthday, then that big brainless special motherfucker cried over it and threw a fit cuz his fat special ass couldn't get up out of his wheelchair and said for Jesus to raise him up and give him working and movable legs.

I'd make a 9/11 joke, but it wouldn't fly anymore.

And if I tried it, it would probably crash and burn.

It just wouldn't help my comedy career take off.

Q: What do gay horses say?

A: "Geigh!"

What did the tree do when the bank closed?

It started its own branch.

If a tree could be any animal, what would it be?

Answer: A dog because of its bark lol. 😀

I used to be a baker, but I decided to quit my job and stick my dough inside WOMEN’S bakeries.

I'm reading a book on anti-gravity, it's impossible to PUT DOWN!

What happens when you eat a cat?

I love to eat cats for dinner!

"Demon Slayer" is yay, and who's your favorite in "Demon Slayer"?

Hi, I am Emma. I'm going to Stan.

Doctor: "I'm sorry, but you suffer from a terminal illness and only have 10 to live."

Patient: "What do you mean 10? 10 what? months? weeks?"

Doctor: "9, 8, 7..."

A buddy and I checked out some books from a local library. When we returned them, he said, "Your sister works the returns, right?" I told him, "Yes, she does, and she will be here in about five minutes." He said, "Why don’t we put a cookbook in the women’s sports section?" I told him, "I love it!" So I picked out a Reese Witherspoon book.

Why was six afraid of seven?

Because seven eight nine.

I was walking down the street and I punched a white guy and then I was arrested for assault.

The next day after I got out, I punched a black guy and I was arrested for impersonating a police officer.

If you're reading this, you are Nickel and Gallium......

Ni- ........*something else in between the two halves*................Ga

YOU FUCKING MONKEYS!

"Sigma" - By every boy in my class.