Worst Jokes Ever
Why wasn’t the cheese 🧀 happy?
It was blue 😔.
I've just started a new business making people breathe in large amounts of helium. They all speak very highly of it.
What’s pink, black and has 17 nipples?
A trash can behind the cancer ward.
What do ghosts put on their bagels 🥯?
Scream cheese.
Someone asked me if I've ever tried to kill myself. I responded, "Absolutely. A few times actually. I'm just not very good at it."
What is boring? Talking about boring things.
Why did the teddy bear say no to dessert?
Because she was stuffed.
Do you know why I wish grass was emo? So it can cut itself.
Why did Ms. Grapes 🍇 want to marry Mr. Grapes 🍇?
Because she loves raisin kids.
What kind of dreams do hotels have?
Suite dreams.
How do you fit 27 New Zealand tourists in a 15-seater bus?
Simple. All in the ashtray.
What do mice eat for dinner?
Mac n Cheese.
My doctor told me that I had to burn calories, so I took a fat kid and lit them on fire
There are so many things going through my head. Sadly, none of it is a 9mm.
How to tell your kid he's adopted:
Son, I'm a virgin.
What do you call a happy child swinging with her friends at recess?
Not Sally.
Oh my god, she hit me with a bat,
'Cause she was transgender.
What is the most musical part of a chicken?
The drumstick.
If olive oil is made of olives, then baby oil is made of...
I showed my girlfriend my shotgun yesterday. It really blew her away.