Worst Jokes Ever
I wish my grass was edgy...
then it would cut itself...
Jay and Andrew are best friends who are almost alike. The difference between them both is Jay is poor and well... Andrew, on the other hand, is suck-a-dick poor. Let me explain, Jay wakes up in his room, walks to the kitchen, and asks his mom, Lisa (I call her Lisa now, btw), if there is anything to eat. "No, bitch!" she replies, so Jay drinks a glass of milk and goes back to bed.
Now Andrew... wakes up, jumps out of bed, and he's in the kitchen. He sees his mom fixing some food for work after a long hard night of giving her husband blue balls. "Anything left for me, Mother?" Andrew asks. "Sorry, Honey, I have to eat to put food on the table and to get the running again." *so she goes to work, taking her time* Andrew sits by his bedside and says to himself, "Man... I'd suck a dick for some water right now." *his mom storms back after hearing what he had said* "I'll buy you a soda if you do my first customer for me!"
Why can’t an orphan get suspended or expelled from school? Because they need to contact parents.
Why do female parachutists have to wear tampons before they jump?
So they don't whistle on the way down!
What do you call a person who's got their wisdom tooth removed too late?
Dumb.
Why shouldn’t you pick on a midget with learning difficulties?
... Because it’s not big and it’s not clever.
Alicia was not a popular girl. None of the guys noticed her. Once she got a boyfriend, but then he cheated on her with Katy and said, "You're not sexy enough, Katy is much hotter."
So Alicia took a match, set herself on fire, and screamed, "THIS GIRL IS ON FIRE!"
And then she died.
Yo mama so ugly people dress up as her at Halloween.
Ran out of toilet paper, so had to start using lettuce leaves... today was the tip of the iceberg.
What did the Asian say to the Asian?
*Cough*
What do you get when a cow doesn't give any more milk?
A milk dud 😂
What is a kidnapper’s favorite shoe?
White Vans.
What did the poop say to the toilet paper? “You’re on a roll!”
What kind of coffee do they serve at funerals?
Burial grounds.
What’s an abbreviation for school in America?
Shooting range.
Jokes just as dead as the victims.
How do orphans have a family reunion? They look in the mirror.
Why did Mickey Mouse go to outer space?
To find Pluto.
What do you call a pig that does karate?
PORK-CHOP
What do depressed people and Apple's have in common?
They both hang from trees.
1. What's the difference between Dark humor and Morbid humor? Dark humor is 10 babies in 1 trash can and Morbid humor is 1 baby in 10 trash cans.
2. What's the difference between a pizza and a baby? A pizza doesn't scream in the oven.