Worst Jokes Ever
Somebody stole my joke.
So I stole their spinal cord.
If I went to Walmart, I would be able to scan my own wrists because they're barcodes too.
What's the difference between meat and fish?
If you beat your fish, it'll die.
What do you call a night guard at the glory hole inside a adult bookstore?
Guardian of the confessional booth.
Porn.
Where is the cheapest gun range? Your local public school.
What’s the difference between Stephen Hawking and a walkie talkie? He can’t walkie or talkie.
How did the security guard at the orchid get better at his job? He got an Apple Watch.
One man's pet is another man's dinner.
A man once went to a doctor because his leg was turning blue.
The doctor said that his leg had to be amputated as it was getting poisonous.
The man then got plastic prosthetics.
Next day even the prosthetics started turning blue.
After much examination, the doctor found that the patient's pants were shedding color.
I am a failure to everyone and decided to attempt a suicide, guess what? I failed.
What do you call that useless piece of skin that goes all the way around a pussy?
A woman!
What do you call two Michael J. Fox's standing next to each other?
Parallel Parkinson's.
Hi person reading this.
Brojobs are like air. It's not important until you don't have any.
What does an astronaut call his ex from space?
SpaceX.
There's something on your chin. No, not that one, the third row.
What's the difference between a rooster and a prostitute?
The rooster says... "cock-a-doodle-doo." The prostitute says... "any cock will do."
Cow A: I slept with your sister!
Cow B: Never knew my brother was a girl!
All the other cows:
:O
Why did you always see Michael Jackson wearing two white gloves?
Because masturbation is against Michael Jackson's religious beliefs.