Worst Jokes Ever
What do you call a chair that smokes weed?
A high chair.
A man walks into a bar and orders 3 shots of whiskey. The bartender asks, "What's got you down?"
The man says, "I just found out my niece is gay." The next day, he orders 4 shots of whiskey. The bartender asks, "What's got you down now?" The man says, "I just found out my son is gay."
The next day, he orders 6 shots of whiskey. The bartender says, "Got anybody who likes women?" The man says, "My wife does."
When meeting her parents doesn't require you to leave the house.
What’s the difference between a Ferrari and ten 6-year-olds?
I don’t have a Ferrari in my garage.
You're gay!
Well, I'm off to the orphanage to tell "yo mama" jokes.
What's a good way to masturbate?
Get somebody to do it for you.
What's better than sex with your 12 year old sister?
Rolling her over and pretending it's your 10 year old brother.
The South.
What medicine do you take when your butt hurts?
Answer: Assprin.
When you realize you have depression, and depression realizes how stupid you were.
Q: What do you get when you cross a cow and a smurf?
A: Blue cheese.
Why did Helen Keller ride a broken roller coaster?
She didn't see anything wrong with it.
Three guys are stranded with cannibals on an island. The cannibals said, "Each one of you come back with 10 pieces of fruit and shove them up your butt showing no emotion." The first guy came back with 10 apples, and by the second one, he started to grunt, so he was killed and eaten.
The second one came back with cherries, and when he went to put the 10th one in, he started to laugh, so he was killed and eaten. The two guys met in heaven, and the first guy said, "Dude, you were so close. What happened?" The second one said, "I would have made it, but I saw the third guy come back with 10 pineapples!!" 😝😝🤣🤣
Jeff, did you hear they're making a film about Jimmy Savile? It’s a very touchy subject.
Yeah, I did, Gary, but did you hear the reviews on the Bill Cosby film? People said it was so boring it put them to sleep.
A man gets kicked out of police camp after writing "Who's that Pokémon?" next to all of the chalk outlines.
What's the difference between a mosquito and a pornstar? One stops sucking when you smack it.
My sister said the onion is the only vegetable that can make you cry...
So I threw a carrot at her.
The happier they get, the less they see.
What did Cinderella do when she got to the ball?
She gagged.