Worst Jokes Ever

Worst Jokes Ever

😥This is offensive, sorry: What did the king say to his royal steed? "You gonna start the dishwasher or what?"

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  • Teacher: "You can't be here after school without a parent!"

    Orphan: -no response-

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  • People can say whatever they want about pedophiles. At least they are pursuing their dreams.

    In a white van.

    What do Ellen DeGeneres and homeless people have in common?

    They don’t cook because they love eating out.

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  • A man walks into a bar, sits down, and asks the bartender for 12 shots of vodka. The bartender asks what the man is celebrating, and said he'll give one shot on the house. The man said, "I'm celebrating my first blowjob. And nah, if 12 shots doesn't get the taste out of my mouth, nothing will."

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  • How come when women decide to kill their unborn baby it's a "choice"? But when I decide to drive my car into a playground full of children it's called "murder."

    My favorite toast for parties:

    May I be in heaven half an hour before the devil knows I'm dead.

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  • You walk into a McDonald's and you ask for some extra mayo, and they put too much on there.

    I say I didn't order a "McCumshot."

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