Worst Jokes Ever
What's a similarity between The Ark of the Covenant, The Holy Grail and a bunch of 12 year olds?
They are all locked in the Priest's basement.
How many screws does it take to construct a lesbian's bed?
None, it's all tongue and groove...
Do you know a way to really freak out someone that works at a car dealership?
You say, "Tell me if you can hear me," then get in the trunk and start screaming.
Q: What do you call an angry monkey?
A: Furious George!
If you were a food, what would you be?
Friend 1: "Pizza, cause I'm so cheesy."
Friend 2: "Chocolate chip cookie, cause I have lots of friends."
Me: "Donut, cause I'm so empty inside."
Looks like someone's funny bone's broken!
What's the difference between a PC and a 6 year old? I don't have to clean out my PC.
What is the difference between a drug dealer and a hoe? A hoe can wash her crack and sell it again.
A penis has a sad life.
His hair is a mess.
His family is nuts.
His neighbor is an asshole.
His best friend is a pussy.
And his owner beats him.
Fortnite is good.
(Awesome joke, right?)
If you have cancer, you are gay.
I like my lovers like I like my whiskey, 12 years old and mixed up with coke.
Did you know my grandpa was part of World War 2? He killed Hitler.
The whole reason he is dead is because he kept hitting "Remind me later" on his Windows Updates.
Chuck Norris would have died a couple of years ago, but death hasn't built up the courage to tell him.
Why do cheetahs always win?
Because they cheat!
I was staying over at my friend's; for the purpose of the joke, he shall be called Kian. It was 03:00 am and everyone else was asleep when I heard a soft banging on the wall. I left the room to inspect it. Kian lived with his grandad John Hauge; it was thought he had a huge slong.
The banging was getting louder, and so too was my heartbeat. I opened John's door and ventured into the room. John was fully naked. There was a glory hole through the wall where I could make it Kian's ass. This is what I have been waiting for. I rip off my shorts, which Ali G bought for me, and silently moved towards John. I shoved [my] 1-inch wonder in his ear. John furiously turned around and slapped me with his cock, "You little gimp, get on the bed."
Kian came in the room with a 2-litre bottle of Irn Bru. He demanded, "What the fudge are you doing?"
I replied smoothly, "Kian, you tracksuit warrior, you have a camel toe!"
Kian fires back, "Shut it, Paul, you have genital warts!"
John screams, "SHUT THE FUCK UP!"
He then gives us it so rough I can't walk the next day, but [I] feel pleasured for eternity.
By Lewis
A man walks into the library. “Hello ma’am, I’d like to borrow a book about committing suicide.” The librarian replies, “No, you won’t give it back.”
What's sad and has no life? The person reading this.
what do you get when you play a country song backwards? you get your wife, your house, and your kids back.