Worst Jokes Ever
What's the difference between a feminist and a suicide vest?
At least one does something when it is triggered.
What does Stephen Hawking have in common with a bull? They both charge.
If I'm the night guard at the Samsung store, does that make me a guardian of the galaxy?
The pilot goes "We're going down!"
The other pilot yells "Down like your syndrome?"
"I'm sorry" and "I apologize" mean the same thing, except at a funeral.
Why can North Korea draw a straight line? Because they've got a supreme ruler.
What's the difference between a shooter and a bullied autistic kid? It depends on who's shooting.
I have fun going on them roller coasters that go really high up and sitting by random people, and once we get to the high point, I look at the stranger and go "wham" and unplug their seat belt.
What do you call an asian kid who's bad at math?
An orphan.
I'm not lazy, I'm just bone tired. I bet that one tickled your funny bone. It sure got me rattled. Don't try to stop me. I've got a skele-ton of these!
The worst part about church is that you're constantly switching between sitting, standing, and kneeling. I mean, why can't the priest just pick a position and f**k me already!
A woman visits the doctor as she has some abdominal pains and suspects she may be pregnant.
After her examination, the doctor comes out to see her: “Well, I hope you like changing diapers!”
She replies: “Oh my god! Am I pregnant, am I pregnant!?”
To which he responds: “No, you’ve got bowel cancer.”
If you want any pictures of cheese for your laptop, I've got enough to Philadelphia.
Paedophiles are f***ing immature assholes.
Where did Lucy go during the bombing?
Everywhere.
How long does it take for 5 babies to die in the microwave?
I don't know, I can't count while I masturbate...
I'm 34 and I went on a date with my 19 year old girlfriend. I got heckled with "you're a paedophile!" and "you sick F...!" Completely ruined our 10th anniversary!
Was gonna make a gay joke but fuck... Cum on guys.
Wanna hear a dry joke? A desert.
Why did Michael Jackson call Boyz II Men? He thought they were a delivery service.