Worst Jokes Ever
Your Momma's so fat, the recursive function calculating her mass causes a stack overflow.
Friend 1: Eyyy gurl
Me: Hey! (Fake smile)
Friend 2: Hey g-guys what 'bout we play would you rather?
6 hours later
Friend 2: So (name) would u rather? 1. "Hang" out with me Or 2. "Jump" 1 times?
Me...e-eh?...Why not both????? We could just "Jump" while "Hanging" out right?
How are shark eggs and your mom the same? They're both the biggest thing ever laid.
Some people think incest jokes are funny.
I just think it's all relative.
What did the cop say to the muslim breaking the law?
"That's against th-Allah (read like da-law)."
Why are there only 363 days in an orphan's calendar? They don't have Father's or Mother's Day.
Yo mama so dumb, she tried to put m&m's in alphabetical order.
Why did the depressed person cross the road?
To get run over.
Me: Mom, I'm tired.
Mom: "Then go to sleep."
Me: No, you don't understand-
They say I'll mess up my insides, but I don't have any.
My friends: Ugh, why are you so lazy and no fun?
My parents: Why can't you be like your siblings?
My teacher: I don't care if you're depressed, focus on your study!
The songs: We understand you :)
Looks like depression got the best of me! Don’t worry, I’m already going under.
Your mama is so fat, when she went camping, the bears hid their food from her.
What did the orphan say to the crippled man?
I suffer from crippling depression.
Teacher: "I'm sorry, but you got a 74 on the test."
Quiet Kid: "I'll show you my own 74."
Classroom: *visible panic*
Location is in London by the way.
One day a fatass came home and told his friend that he lost money.
His friend: "Oh for once you lost some pounds!"
Teacher: What month is it?
Quiet kid: AUG-ust.
Classroom: Visible concern.
Orphan: "I want to kill my parents."
People: "I don't think you have the facilities for that, big man."
A priest is drowning in a river. A boat comes along and asks to help him. He says, "Leave me alone, God will save me." The next day another boat came along and asked to help him. Again he said, "Leave me alone, God will save me." The next day the last boat came and asked to help him. Once again he told the boat that God will save him. The next day he died. He went to heaven and asked God, "Why didn't you save me?" God said, "I sent you three f***ing boats and you didn't take them!"
Waitress: You wanna box for your leftovers?
Me: No, but I'll arm wrestle you for the check.