Worst Jokes Ever
I tried to sue the airport for misplacing my luggage.
I lost the case.
You have a six-minute timer to live, but when you breathe, it resets.
What do you call a group of black people?
A hoodie.
What do you call an autistic kid with a gun?
Special Forces.
3 men walk up to Indians, one American, one Muslim, and one African American. The Indians say, "We're all gonna kill you." One of the men asks why. The Indian says, "So we can use your skin to make kyanks." He also says, "Y'all decide how you die." The Muslim says, "I want to drown," so they drown him. The African American says, "Shoot me." And the American grabs a fork and starts poking himself everywhere, I mean everywhere. The Indian said, "What's the point of this?" and the American says, "F**k your kyanks."
My brother's addicted to buying ladders; he loves to get high.
I would tell jokes about Kobe, but they would just crash and burn.
Michael doesn’t fart. Jackson does.
What category of music did JFK like?
You could say he was a metalhead.
Doctor: I diagnose you with obesity.
Patient: It runs in the family.
Doctor: Nothing can run in your family.
What do you do when you get locked outside your house? You talk to the lock, because communication is key.
Why does no one look up at Steven Hawking?
You have to look down to see him.
What do planets read?
Comet books.
What do planets use to download music?
Nep-tunes.
123 bipity bopity 321. Women are property.
To everyone saying, "Don't joke about suicide, it's not even funny to laugh about people dying." Do you think we have it easy? Have you ever thought these jokes were helping us to cope? Mind your own business and don't make assumptions on people you know nothing about, please and thanks.
Have you heard of the current event in Africa? It’s called the Hunger Games.
Why was the ant so confused? Because all his uncles were ants.
Bf: What do you think about our love?
Gf: Count the stars in the sky.
Bf: Aww, it's infinity.
Gf: Nope, just a waste of time.
Atoms never touch, so it means, we haven't touched each other or anything. So, sir, I did not drop-kick that child.