Worst Jokes Ever
There was a woman. She is property. Ha, sucks for that dishwasher.
My conversion therapy done worked. Now I only sleep with my sister and not my brother.
My nickname should be night light... because kids turn me on...
What is Hitler's favorite game?
Nahtzee.
How can you tell if you have a high sperm count?
When your girlfriend has to chew before she swallows.
Why did Harry fall out of the boat?
Because he's hooked!
Girl: Daddy, I've been a bad girl.
Priest: For the last time, it's "Father, I have sinned."
Today we need to teach our teens about having safe sex while using contraceptives.
Condoms 99 percent effective.
Birth control 99 percent effective.
Etc.
Just be like me and use underage 7 year olds works 100 percent of the time (only cost 20 years in jail ;)
Chuck Norris once put a plastic bag on his head, and the bag suffocated to death.
Chuck Norris and Time had a race.
Result: Time is still running...
gae
Uranus floats around in space.
If depression is going to be my girlfriend, will she leave me?
Me and my friend were roasting each other. She said, "You look like a Reese's cup." I replied, "You're so old, your pubic hairs are 50 shades of gray."
Jack and Jill went up the hill to do it in the water. Jack slipped, his condom ripped, and now they have a daughter.
What's the best thing about a blowjob?
- The silence.
Why's it called a Caesar Salad?
'Cause Caesar ruled the romaines.
So, Dora is having a sleepover with her cousin Diego at Dora's house. Later that night, Dora's mom hears someone screaming, "Go Diego go!" for at least a couple of minutes, and then it stops, and she goes back to sleep.
But then she hears the same thing a couple of minutes later, so she walks in and hears "Go Diego go!" She walks over to Diego's sleeping bag and looks, and it's empty, so she walks over to Dora's sleeping bag and looks in and sees Dora getting f
... by Diego and hears Dora saying, "Go Diego go!" while moaning.
A young girl was playing in the park with her mother when she asked the question, "Mummy, what's that building over there?" The mother looked at the prison, smiled, and said, "That's where the cotton pickers live."
Snow everywhere, it's Christmas time. A person looks at the tree.
The person: "Only the last thing left to hang!"
He grabs a noose.