Worst Jokes Ever

"A friend with weed is a friend indeed."

Why did the frog take the bus to work?

His car got toad.

I hate autistic kids and ADHD people because they are stupid, special, retarded, brainless freaks, and they are stupid.

They say you should love your neighbor. Does that mean I have to love the president?

What is better than winning the gold medal at the Special Olympics? Having arms and legs.

Do you know why they call me battery saver?

I get turned on when it’s below 10%.

I heard Steven Spielberg is coming out with a new movie about fat people called E.C.

(Extra Cholesterol)

What do priests give children?

Syphilis.

Why can’t you take an Asian guy golfing? Because you can’t drive. Every time he does, he tries to put a hole-in-one.

What’s the difference between Usain Bolt and Hitler?

Usain finished the races.

Why do you Scotchmen wear kilts?

Because sheep can hear a zipper from a mile away.

What is the difference between your dad and a video game?

Your dad doesn’t beat you.

What is a terrorist's first move in chess?

C4.

What does a priest and Christmas tree have in common? The balls are just for decoration.

What’s the difference between Stephen Hawking and a walkie-talkie?

He can’t walkie or talkie.

Why did the rapper open a bakery?

Because they wanted to bake some BEATS.

What do you call a rapper with a cold?

Lil Sneezy.

Why did the rapper become a tailor?

Because they wanted to drop some fresh THREADS.

Why did the rapper go to the bank?

To make some MONEY MOVES.

Why did the rapper go to the dentist?

To get their FILLINGS fixed.