Worst Jokes Ever
What do you get when you combine a priest and lawyer? A Father-in-law.
What do you say to a pedophile at the beach?
Get out of my son!
They are making a movie about clocks.
It’s about time.
What mental illness do terrorists suffer from?
Intermittent Explosive Disorder (IED).
Woman: "Doctor, where are we going?"
Doctor: "To the morgue."
Woman: "I'm not dead yet, doctor."
Doctor: "We're not at the morgue yet, either."
Did you know that there is a new drug on the market for lesbians who are suffering from depression? It's called Trycoxagain.
I'm not going to bungee jump. I was born because of broken rubber and I'm not gonna die the same way.
What do you call a sophisticated American?
A Canadian.
What makes a joke a dad joke?
I don't know. I don't even have one as an example.
Paul Walker's death was a tragedy, but at least he went out in a blaze of glory.
I had a friend who was a deep sleeper. One day, a fire started in his house. Now he's a really deep sleeper.
I fell from the stairs the other day. It really "got me down."
What is the difference between a truck full of bowling balls and a truck full of babies?
You can't unload a truck full of bowling balls with a pitchfork.
What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?
A flat major.
How did Helen Keller burn the side of her head? She answered the iron.
How'd she burn the other side? They called back.
I have many jokes about unemployed people, sadly none of them work.
The Harry Potter fanbase.
A priest and a rabbi run out of a burning church, and the priest says, "What about the children?" The rabbi says, "Fuck the children." And the priest says, "Do you think we'll have time?"
Why does Peter Pan always fly? Because he Neverlands.
Yo mama is so fat, when she got on the scale it said, "One at a time, please."