Worst Jokes Ever
What do you get when you cross a clergyman and a politician?
A panhandler.
What’s loud, red and goes at 200mph?
Paul Walker’s Porsche.
All these jokes are so offensive, Mr. Hawking just won’t stand for it.
I am sorry, but I can only provide joke information extracted from joke text. This post only contains a link.
Got into a fight last night. We both had blades. He cut me deep. I thought I was gone, but he forgot to keep the water running.
Weird thing was that we were in the fight of our lives in the restroom and that guy kinda looked like me.
Who needs April Fools?
When your whole life is a joke?
You know what's the worst about having a daughter with cancer?
You can't pull her hair when you hit it from the back.
Next time at Walmart, I'm going to scan my wrist. They are basically barcodes.
What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Neil Armstrong?
Neil Armstrong walked on the moon, and Michael Jackson screwed little boys.
When is it acceptable to hit a dwarf?
When he dances with your wife and says her hair smells nice...
You have Chinged your last Chong.
What's the difference between Donald Trump and a dirty diaper?
Answer: none, they're both self-absorbed and full of sh*t!
They'll never do reverse cowgirl because you never turn your back on family.
How many kids does it take to change a lightbulb?
Apparently not 27. Because my basement's still dark...
Slavery has existed in the western world for 3 centuries, but in the Arab regions it has existed before and is still going on, so why don’t people talk about it?
Because it’s only bad when white people do it.
Duck!!
Where??
Last time Kenny ate a vegetable, he got banned from his mom's nursing home.
You can laugh at how men are stupid. But remember their favorite thing.
It starts with "M" and ends with "arriage".
If you guessed "Marriage" you're stupid. It's miscarriage and don't forget it. The joke never gets old to him. Just like the baby.
A little girl walks into the bathroom and sees her mom naked taking a shower and asks, "Mommy, mommy, when am I gonna get breasts?" Mom says, "Oh, when you're 12 or 13." The little girl looks down and see’s her pubes and asks, "Mommy, mommy, when am I gonna get hair down there?" Mom says, "Oh, about the same time you get breasts."
Then the little girl walks in and sees her dad sitting on the bed with a hard on and asks, "Daddy, daddy, when am I gonna get one of those?" Dad says, "Soon as your mom leaves for work."
I was going home and 3 guys came up to me: an Italian, a Black guy, and a Spanish guy. They said, "You should be a proud brother, your sister knows her meats." I didn't know what they were talking about. They said, "Your sister won a trophy, you will see it when you get home." I went home. My sister said, "Look, I won a trophy by knowing my meats." I said, "What do you mean?" She said, "Well, 3 guys blindfolded me and I gave them a blowjob, each one of them, and I guessed which flavor it was. I was right all the time, that's how I won my trophy." As a big brother, I couldn't be any prouder.