Worst Jokes Ever
Why did the blondie put her iPad in the blender? To make apple juice.
I love how in horror movies the person calls out, "Hello," as if the psycho will answer, "Hey, what's up? I'm in the kitchen. Want a sandwich?"
I had a horrible nightmare yesterday. I was in a room filled with all of my ex's, so I was completely alone.
I donated 100 dollars to a blind children’s charity. Too bad they won’t ever see a dime of it.
A priest asks the convicted murderer at the electric chair, "Any last requests?" "Yes," replied the murderer, "Will you please hold my hand?"
Yo mama so smelly, she’s even banned from the perfume store!
Yo mama is so smelly that whenever she steps outside, she pollutes the air!
Why did Mozart kill all his chickens?
When he asked who the best composer was, they all replied, "Bach, Bach, Bach."
What’s Bin Laden’s favorite drink? Double Manhattan.
What would MLK Junior be if he was white?.........Alive.
Did you hear about the new Exorcist movie? The Devil came to get the Priest out of the child.
What’s the difference between women and condoms?
There isn’t a difference; they’re both throw aways.
Roses are red, violets are blue, this poem doesn’t make sense, washing machine.
Me and my friend went to the park. After a while, we grabbed our little princess and said, "It's time to go, sweetie." But before we could go, someone said, "Stop them, they have my daughter!"
What do you call it when a midget waves at you?
A microwave.
What's red and in a corner?
A baby with a razor blade.
What's green and in a corner?
The same baby three weeks later.
A new game the whole family can play...
Incest.
I saw a man sitting on the ledge of a bridge the other day, and asked him what was wrong. He responded with nobody loves me, so i told him that may be true but you dont wanna kill yourself you want to die of old age, or at least be murdered, suicide is for the weak. he responded with your right so I pushed him over the bridge, and he died of murder
Kid: I'm hungry.
Dad Bot: Hi hungry, I'm dad.
Teenager: I'm Hitler did nothing wrong.
Dad Bot: Hi Hitler did nothing wrong, I'm dad.
Nazi: Finally!
My friend got mad when he caught me smelling his sister's panties. I don't know why he was mad, maybe because she was wearing them, or because his whole family was watching. Either way, it made the funeral a bit awkward.