Worst Jokes Ever
What do you call a bunch of sheep rolling down the hill?
A. A lamb slide.
My sister gives her hamster to my brother since she thinks I'm irresponsible, so I throw it out the window.
What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? A lick-a-lot-of-puss.
Little Johnny is watching his dad shave one morning, and his dad was making a lot of mistakes. Suddenly, his dad screams "bitches and asses!" Johnny asks what it meant, and his dad replied "aunts and uncles." Oh. Next thing he hears is "dicks and pussies!" Johnny asks, "What's that mean?" To which his dad replied, "Uh, coats and hats." Oh. Next thing he know, he sees his dad jumping around the bathroom yelling "fucking, fuck, fuck, FUCK!" "What does that mean, Dad?" And his dad yells, "Cut, Johnny, it means cut!!!!" Oh.
Next week is Thanksgiving, and the doorbell rings, and Johnny answers it and says, "Hey, bitches and asses, hang your dicks and pussies here, Dad's in the kitchen fucking the turkey."
If someone calls you, reply with this: “Hi, this is Dave’s orphanage and pizzeria, where yesterday’s loss is today’s sauce! How may I assist you today?”
So I got my son a trampoline for Christmas this year, and he was so ungrateful, like he just sat there crying in his wheelchair. What has this world come to?
My mom told me to take out the trash, but I couldn't find you.
Three guys are walking in a bar. A priest, a paedophile, and a rapist. That was just the first guy.
"Mixed vegetables is just special ed class, change my mind."
Rape jokes aren’t funny!!! And definitely not something to joke about, what’s wrong with ppl, like seriously what a world we live in. This is sick!
How do stars die? Usually a overdose in an airport.
To become a licensed airline pilot requires 1,500 hours (two years) of training. But it only takes 10 seconds to steal the pilot’s jacket and hat.
Why can't a steam locomotive sit down?
Because it has a tender behind.
What do you get when the queen farts a noble gas?
What do you get when a dino farts? A blast from the past.
Why are ninja farts so dangerous? They are silent but deadly.
Q: What was the orphan's first phone?
A: The iPhone X because it had no home button.
I had a dog with an eating disorder.
He wouldn’t eat any of my homework.
In History class, the teacher taught a lesson about serial killer Albert Fish. Back in the early 20th century, Fish reportedly kidnapped, ate, and raped over 100 kids. He mainly chose victims who were either retarded or black. Further on the lesson, the teacher explained how in those days, black people were socially not equal with white people, and how people with mental illness were not accepted and treated properly due to a lack of knowledge of mental health.
One of the students raised their hand and said, “You ought to be arrested.” The teacher confusedly asked, “Why?” The student explained, “Because you’re thinking like Albert Fish.”
Why can't homosexuals get car insurance?
They've been rear-ended too many times.
What is it called when young sheep bet?
LAMbling.
(haven't uploaded yesterday cuz couldn't think of a joke)
I'm not a chef, but boy, are these days getting harder and harder to get through.