Worst Jokes Ever
What's a school shooter's favorite flower?
Columbine.
Orphan boy: "Your dad is probably disappointed in you. I mean, look at you."
Me: "Well, at least my parents kept me. Where are yours?"
Why is it that when I'm in school doing PE, it's fine for someone to say "boys against girls", but the moment I say "blacks against whites" I'm the bad guy?
So there's an orphan in a hospital, and the doctor walks up and says, "Sorry, kid, but this is a family hospital."
China should be a baseball team because they can take out the whole world with just a bat.
Why can't Indians play football? Because every time they take a corner, they make a shop.
How can you tell if a heterosexual man has been using a computer?
There is sperm on the screen.
Yo mama so ugly she made happy meals cry.
Why is mercury like everything else in the world?
Because it gives you cancer.
Friend 1: What's your favorite drink or food?
Friend 2: Pizza.
Friend 3: Donuts.
Friend 4: I don't eat food but I do drink bleach.
Friend 1: (calling the suicide hotline)
Friend 2: (Calling the parents)
Why can't Chinese play baseball?
Because they eat the bats.
One day, two Chinese people with broken English go to America. When they arrive, they go to a small place to eat. When they look at the menu, they see "hot dog," but since their English is bad, they think it's literally a roasted dog and order it. When it comes back, they're both surprised, and one of them asks,
"What part of the dog did you get?"
I'm hertophobic -
aka I'm allergic to all straight guys.
What do magicians and prostitutes have in common?
Answer: disappearing acts.
When you're the only one nice to the quiet kid.
Kid: "I like you... don't go to school tomorrow."
Why are feminists always against men?
Because men can piss with something that they can't: piss with dicks.
How do you stop a heterosexual woman from sucking your dick? piss inside her mouth
What kind of experience does a feminist have?
Being a bitch.
Why do feminists eat so much pussy?
To get the taste of dick out of their mouths.
Does it cycle now, you stupid bitches?
How do you know when you should tell a heterosexual woman to stop sucking your dick?
When there is blood coming out of your dick instead of sperm.