Worst Jokes Ever
How do you make epileptic kids dance?
Throw a flash bang in their room.
Do you have dark humor?
Actually, never mind. I was going to tell you a joke about babies dying... but I decided to abort.
What do angels serve at birthday parties in Heaven?
Angel food cake! 🎂🥳
How do you find a blind man at a nude beach?
It isn't hard.
What type of tape do kidnappers use?
Abduct-Tape.
Two men were on a hike through a forest when one of the hikers got bit on his ass by a snake.
The other hiker ran to the village 2 miles away and explained to a doctor there what had happened. The doctor told him to cut a cross with a knife where he had been bitten and suck out the venom, so he ran back to the first hiker who asked him, "Have you got the cure?"
Hiker number two just said, "Nah mate, you're dead."
I saw this really old guy with the Hitler stache, so I decided to start beating him up.
It was very weird when a camera crew came out with Harrison Ford and started yelling at me.
What does a cannibal call a pregnant person?
A Kinder Surprise.
What do you call a cow that's beating his meat? Beef stroganoff!
A suicide bomber's biggest fear is dying alone.
Women have less rights than a NASCAR track.
Who is the only person time waits for? Nun.
Why doesn't China have a cricket team?
They always eat the bat.
Wonder why the British are so good at chess? They have the queen.
Wonder why Americans are so bad at chess? They lost two towers.
What’s the difference between my lawn and my wrists?
Nothing, I cut both of them.
Other girls be like, "I want a 6ft guy", meanwhile I want to be 6ft under. 😃👍
Tomorrow is Christmas, and I'm giving myself a present that I can't wait to open. It's my wrist. (Yes, this was inspired by a Fall Out Boy song.)
Today, I learned that a group of piranhas can maul a small child down to the bone in under 20 seconds. Well, I lost my job at the aquarium today.
Suicide is never the answer.
Suicide is the question.
The answer is yes.
Why do people always talk about nine eleven???
My dad died that day.
He was a good pilot.