Worst Jokes Ever
Three guys are stranded with cannibals on an island. The cannibals said, "Each one of you come back with 10 pieces of fruit and shove them up your butt showing no emotion." The first guy came back with 10 apples, and by the second one, he started to grunt, so he was killed and eaten.
The second one came back with cherries, and when he went to put the 10th one in, he started to laugh, so he was killed and eaten. The two guys met in heaven, and the first guy said, "Dude, you were so close. What happened?" The second one said, "I would have made it, but I saw the third guy come back with 10 pineapples!!" 😝😝🤣🤣
Jeff, did you hear they're making a film about Jimmy Savile? It’s a very touchy subject.
Yeah, I did, Gary, but did you hear the reviews on the Bill Cosby film? People said it was so boring it put them to sleep.
A man gets kicked out of police camp after writing "Who's that Pokémon?" next to all of the chalk outlines.
What's the difference between a mosquito and a pornstar? One stops sucking when you smack it.
My sister said the onion is the only vegetable that can make you cry...
So I threw a carrot at her.
What did Cinderella do when she got to the ball?
She gagged.
Why did Michael Jackson name his kid Blanket?
What would you call a cover for your cock?
I like penguins.
What's the difference between a baby and a mansion?
I've never seen the inside of a mansion.
Person: "Doctor, doctor, I've only got 50 seconds to live!"
Doctor: "Just give me a minute!"
Why do priests like kids in wheelchairs? Because they can’t run.
Your mamma's so stinky that perfume leaks where she puts it on.
Good night, boys.
I like goodies.
China is a place. I once went to Buckingham Palace.
A hand of Pepsi murdered a Coca Cola. An innocent Sprite yelled, "Quick! Call Dr. Pepper!"
Eventually, a 7-Up called Dr. Pepper. The Coca Cola was fine.
What's a horse's favorite football player? NEIGH-mar!
The last thing I told my ex after we broke up was, "At least we're still cousins!" 😂
Random guy: "Go suck a D*ck!"
Me: Nah, I'd rather suck a 9mm.
Black people run fast.
Why are there no Olympics in Mexico?
Because everyone from Mexico that can run, jump, and swim is already over the border.