Worst Jokes Ever

Why did God invent yeast infections? So women would know what it's like to live with an irritating cunt too.

For orphans, every bag of chips is family size.

What’s the difference between hungry and horny?

Where you put the cucumber 🥒

So, today is my birthday. Today, I am 13, but yesterday I am going to turn 10. But I am not even going to school to know the number ten, because one time at 10 p.m. in the morning it was so cold in my hot room, so I went outside to drive my car. But I stopped because the light turned green. I was taking a bath in the front of my car, and it didn’t have a bin, so I am taking a sh$t.

My mother really hates my dad for some reason. Maybe it was because he cheated on her, or maybe because it was her mom. Either way, it really ruined her birthday.

I have a problem. My dad and my girlfriend have the same birthday. So, one took my virginity, and the other is my girlfriend.

Two people are under the covers. The man says, "Quote the Beatles: Come together!"

"Knock Knock"

"Who's there?"

"9/11"

"9/11 Who?"

"I thought you'd never forget..."

I once had a cat that reminded me of Doug Ford.

Fat, mean, and probably inbred.

Hitler visits a lunatic asylum. The patients give the Hitler salute. As he passes down the line, he comes across a woman who isn't saluting.

"Why are you not saluting like the others?" Hitler barks.

"Mein Führer, I'm the nurse," she responds. "I'm not crazy!"

What do painters and prostitutes have in common?

They're both paid for a good finish.

Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana. Jack got high and grabbed her thigh and said, "You know you wanna." Jill said yes and lifted her dress so they could have some fun, but stupid Jill forgot her pill and now they have a son.

I am glass! People see right through me.

A poster for the winter relief fund reads: "No one should be allowed to go hungry or suffer from the cold." A worker says to his friend, "Now were not even allowed to do that."

What do Michael Jackson and caviar have in common? They both come on little white crackers.

What does a Chinese machine gun sound like? "ching chong ching chong tang tang."

There is a party in my mouth, and your dick is invited.

I call my dad a motherfucker because he fucked his mom.

Once upon a time, fraternal twins, brother and sister, with almost 100% equal DNA were separated at birth. At the age of 42, they were married, had 2 sons and 2 daughters. They took an ancestryDNA test, and the results were scientifically sexually shocking.

Why do orphans love boomerangs? Because they actually come back.