Worst Jokes Ever
How do you stop a baby from drowning?
-Lift up your foot.
To the man in the wheelchair who stole my camouflage jacket, "You can hide but you can't run."
Ex-Boyfriend: You have no ass, so we're through!
Me: Stop being a dickhead, dude!! It ain't gonna make your little sausage any bigger!
Q: What did the drunk emo say to the bartender?
A: Nothing! He was hung over.
Q. How much cum does a gay guy have?
A. A butt load.
What's a Mexican's least favorite lesson in art? Drawing border lines.
China servers are up on Fortnite, yeah, check by there.
"China getting this dick in your mouth đ"
What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a plastic bag? One's made of plastic and dangerous for kids to play with, and the other carries groceries.
Don't go to ghostposter.com. The person or persons who run that site are a fucking bunch if dumb fucking cunts who can suck my big cock.
Hippity Hoppity, women are property. (sans undertale)
So, there was a kid named Bobby, and he was writing notes. He asked his mother, who was on a phone call, "what is one plus one?" She said, "I HATE YOU." Then he asked his brother what is 2 + 2, who was watching a Batman movie, said, "NU NU NU NU NU NU NU NU NU NU BATMAN!" Then he asked his dad what is 4 plus 4, who was playing football, said, "85 SMACK EM DOWN!" Then he asked his sister 8+8, (she was playing with barbies), and she said, "My buns are burning." Then he went to school and told her teacher the first note he wrote down. The teacher sent him to the principalâs office. The principal yelled, "WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?!" Bobby said, "NU NU NU NU NU NU NU NU NU NU BATMAN!" The principal yelled, "HOW MANY SPANKINGS DO YOU WANT?!" Then he said, "85 SMACK EM DOWN!" Then he walked away from the principalâs office and said, "my buns are burning."
Why did the orphan become a prostitute? They wanted someone to call "daddy."
When the school shooter throws a smoke bomb into the classroom, and the autistic kid thinks it's a dance party.
What does a cow say when he remembers something?
"I have deja moo!"
What do you call it when a Mexican and a pedophile fight each other?
Alien vs. Predator.
Once my friend was saying something dumb, and I was like, "I Campbell-eve you just said that."
1273. Depression got the best of me. I'm gonna cry in my room now.
Why are school shooting jokes so funny?
Answer: The bullets hit your funny bone!
I wasnât understanding what I had to do for homework, so my teacher said, âLet me break it down for you like the Twin Towers.â
Two muffins are sitting in a bar.
The first muffin says to the bartender, "I'll have the usual."
The second one does not say anything to the bartender because muffins lack the vocal ability of humans, and even with the proper anatomy capable of speech access, they would most certainly be entirely unable to comprehend the human language. In fact, the first muffin would indefinitely not be able to provide speech to the bartender. The muffins also lack the muscular structure to be capable of support themselves to being suspended also preventing their access to movement. Even with the human-like structure, muffins lack brains, which are an essential part of being able to send nerve contact within the legs to be able to move. Also, with them lacking a brain structure entirely prevents them from speech. The anatomy simply prohibits the food items mentioned to be able to carry out any of the tasks required to get them to said bar and be able to speak, thus making the situation untruthful and completely idiotic.