Worst Jokes Ever
What's the difference between that bridge and my will to live? None, they're both too short.
What is the similar thing between alcohol and anal sex?
They are not for kids.
Want to hear a racist joke?
Donald Trump.
I heard a joke about heavy metal earlier. It was pretty ironic.
One day a father and a daughter were at a park. The daughter accidentally kills a butterfly. The father says, "Just because you killed the butterfly, you don't get butter for a week."
They were there the next day, and the daughter kills a cockroach. The father laughs and says, "Nice try."
In communist Russia there is no discrimination. White, black, African, American, British and Asian. They all go to Gulag eventually.
My favorite quote will always be, "Sketchy candy is better than no candy."
- One of the thousands of missing children.
What is the difference between a washing machine and a child?
The washing machine doesn't cry when you put a load in it.
Kid: "I wish I could be like Batman!"
Genie: "Wish granted!"
When the kid gets home, both of his parents are dead.
There was a blind man in WWE, and the commentator said, "Watch out! Watch... Oh, he can’t see." After he was sued for national offense.
Why do vegetarians give good head?
Because they’re used to eating nuts.
Officer sees a man and he is seeing he is having trouble walking, so he asked him, "Sir, are you drunk?" The man responds, "No, sir, I'm not drunk." So the officer asks, "How high are you?" And the man responds, "No sir, it's 'Hi, how are you?'"
Three guys are escaping from North Korea through a tunnel.
The guards know that they are coming and will shoot them with paintball guns as a warning.
The guys show up and the guards shoot them.
The guys die because the guards used real guns.
Roses are red... Orphans are blue... I killed the priest so I could rape them too.
what did the pedophile say to the kid?
"Roses are red, my name is Dan, I have a gun, get in the van."
What is the difference in having a granny fetish and necrophilia? A few weeks.
What did the soldier say when he sees a terrorist in a wheelchair?
RC-XD incoming.
Bippity Boppity,
Women are property.
What animal gets easily offended? The chicken; they always get roasted.
Why can't a cheetah play hide and seek?
Because he's always spotted.