My girlfriend broke up with me because I stole her wheelchair.
But I knew she'd come crawling back to me.
Worst Jokes Ever
What do you call a nun in a wheelchair?
Virgin mobile.
What's the hardest part about being a pedophile?
Fitting in.
Why do pedophiles never win a race?
Because they are always coming in a little behind.
What did the pedophile say when he got out of prison?
I feel like a kid again.
A priest, a rapist, a pedophile, and a homosexual walk into a bar.
He orders a drink.
I was raised a Catholic, and my priest told me when I was 12, "God is watching you when you masturbate."
I said, "Is God a pedophile too, Father?"
Say what you want against pedophiles, but they slow down in school zones.
My doctor called me fat. I told him I wanted a second opinion and he said, "OK, you're ugly too."
What's the difference between Stephen Hawking and the computer he's hooked up to? The computer runs.
What do you call 100 rabbits walking backwards?
A receding hare line.
The Pentagon is changing the nuclear codes to over 140 characters, ...
so Trump can't tweet it.
A cobra once bit Chuck Norris. After hours of agonising pain... it died.
Confucius say, man who runs behind car will get exhausted, but man who runs in front of car will get tired.
A blind man walks into a bar, and a table, and a door, and a staircase.
Yo mama is so ugly, she walked into a haunted house and walked out with a job application.
What do you call a singing laptop?
A Dell.
How do Mexicans feel about Trump's wall? -- They'll get over it.
What's the difference between a hippo and a Zippo? -- One is really heavy, and the other is a little lighter.
What did the buffalo say to his son when he left for college? -- "Bison."
