Worst Jokes Ever

Worst Jokes Ever

what's the difference between a baby and a trampoline? the trampoline doesn't cave in when i jump on it.

Roses are red, Kevin Spacey is gay,

If you'd stayed with your parents, I wouldn't have taken you away.

A man walks into a bar. He takes a seat and asks the barman if he wanted to hear a blonde joke. The barman replies, "Before you tell this joke, I want to tell you something. See the woman over there? She is a black belt in karate, she's blonde. See the bouncer over there? He is also a blonde. See the chick over there with that pool cue? She is also blonde. Also, I have a shotgun behind the bar. I'm blonde. So do you still want to tell your joke?" He replies, "F**k that. I ain't explaining the joke 4 times."

You can tell a lot about a woman's mood just by her hands. For example, if she's holding a gun, she's probably angry.

I'm going to hang myself in the bathroom at school and put a note telling kids that I'm a piñata.

An American is lecturing a British person, saying things like "it's an elevator, not a lift" and "it's chips, not crisps" etc. After a while of this, the British person calmly retorted, "they're schools, not shooting ranges."

Boys: “Hey, can Billy come out and play baseball?”

Mom: “That’s not funny, you know Billy doesn’t have any arms and legs.”

Boys: “I know, we need a third base.”

A cow is at his friend's house for a sleepover party. Sadly, all of the beds are taken. Where does the cow sleep?

On the COWch (couch).

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  • A boy walks up to a girl and says, "I would tell you a joke about my dick, but it's too long." Then the girl says, "Yeah, I would tell you a joke about my pussy, but you'll never get it."

    They should add an eleventh commandment to the Bible:

    Thou shalt not f... altar boys.

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  • I asked my uncle why he was living on the streets.

    He said that he wasn't always on the streets, he used to have a job at these two towers. I asked him what happened, and he said two planes happened.

    "Why do people call Americans excessive?"

    "It was probably because of WWII."

    "Oh, you mean the war where America responded to the destruction of several ships and a harbor and the deaths of a little over a thousand by completely flattening two cities and killing hundreds of thousands of people?"

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