Worst Jokes Ever
Wanna ride a reindeer for Christmas? *rubs my antlers on you*
Professor Poopypants!!!
When does a doctor get mad?
When he runs out of patients!
What goes white, black, white, black, red?
A zebra falling down the stairs.
Stick your head up someone's butt. What do you get? A Butthead!
"Get your butt out of my face!"
"Then get your face out of my butt!!!"
When I was a child, my parents told me my uncle was 'sleeping with the fishes.' At first, I thought he bought a water bed, but I then discovered he was killed and buried at sea.
Two nuts were walking down the street, and one was a-salted!
Up your butt with a coconut!
My therapist said to try having a different outlook on life.
I agree. I should have a different outlook on life. Preferably from underground.
The joke is my life.
Why can't you ever fool an aborted baby?
Because it wasn't born yesterday!
I’m on top of things. Would you like to be one of them?
What’s the difference between a motorcycle and a mutilated body?
I don’t have a motorcycle in my garage.
Beneath this monumental stone Lise, 80 pounds of skin and bone.
Give a man a match, and he'll be warm for a few hours.
Set a man on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.
I went to a restaurant that serves "breakfast any time," so I ordered French toast during the Renaissance.
— Steven Wright
"Up your butt and around the corner!"
What's the difference between a little boy and a freezer?
The freezer doesn't scream when you put your meat in it.
What is a Mexican’s favorite band?
Twenty Juan Pilots.
A boi found a magic vase and a genie came out and told him he had one wish. The boy said, "I wanna be like Batman." The genie said, "OK, your wish is granted."
The boy came home later that day and his parents were dead.