Worst Jokes Ever
Have you ever noticed when a woman is pregnant all her friends touch her stomach and say “congrats,” but none of them touch the man’s penis and say “well done?”
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Hey ummm help!
When your parents say, "We are sorry that you are here," what do you think of that?
I think that you're an accident!
Why is the beach friendly?
Because it waves!
I thought today was going to be a good day when I woke up this morning. But then I got to the store and they said they were out of rope.
I was playing baseball with orphans, but when they hit a homerun, they had nowhere to go.
What did the rope say to me?
"Hey there man, you wanna hang later?"
"Number 15: Burger King foot lettuce. The last thing you want in your Burger King burger is someone's foot fungus, but as it turns out, that might be what you get."
What do doctors say to patients who blow wind backwards?
DON'T PUT THE FART BEFORE THE FORCE!!
Me: I’m gonna smite the life out of you!!!
Orphan: What! No! Please no!
Me: What you gonna do? Run home and tell your parents? Wait, I forgot, you don’t have a home or parents!!!!
Why didn't the orange go to the doctor?
Because he had vitamin C.
What do you call a clown that is allergic to strawberries?
...Ollie the clown!
Why did the clown not attack Mike? Because they bouncee.
What does the Titanic sell most?
Icebreakers.
Why is the USA so bad at chess?
Because they already lost two towers.
What do ya call a legless prostitute in a strawberry field?
A jammy cunt.
What was I saying again?
Technically, we have all been deeper in our mom than our dads have.
What do you get when you cross a Cuban and corrupt dictator, Fidel Castro?
Yo mama so fat she broke the stairway to heaven...