Worst Jokes Ever
My dad said, "Where's Pickles, the family cat?" I said, "I'm sorry to say he's in the sky." He said, "Oh, I see, he passed away." No, I strapped him to 20 fireworks!
My Indian wife said last night if her fanny would taste like vindaloo curry, I said I've smelt your fucking armpits, you've got no chance.
I asked my nan if she wouldn't mind shitting in a bucket when we went camping. She replied, "Why the fuck would I want to sit in a bucket?" So eventually she did, and I took the best shit I have ever had!
What has 2 wheels and screams? A disabled [person] I dropkicked down the stairs.
I thought I had the best K/D ratio in my fighter jet on Battlefield, then I heard about Mohammed Atta.
My dad had a very unfortunate accident with his death. I clearly asked for Jammy Dodgers and got Bourbons!
What is saw and bleeding and covered in bruises?
Your mum.
My friend asked me once, "Is there any religion in the world that preaches a god who masturbates in a closed room?"
"Islam it is."
Why can’t orphans fly? Because they’re still winging it.
Yo mama is so fat that when she jumps, the earth was shaking!
As a kid, I used to eat a sour herb from a certain spot near a rock.
Now I pee on it, just following the ritual of Africa.
Bully: I bet your dick is so small when you look down you can't see it.
Guy: I don't, I see your mom.
A little girl said to her mom, "Mom, my butt's cracked, kiss it, kiss it!" Her mom said, "Sweetie, shut up, it's always been there!" Then her daughter died 'cause of her melodramaticness.
What did one squirrel say to the other squirrel?
"Stop staring at my nuts."
Ha, orphans are soooooo funny. I mean, they have many family stories. Oh wait...
A handicapped person and an orphan get into a fight. The orphan says, "At least I have two functional legs." The handicapped person says, "At least I have two functional parents."
Why can’t an orphan take medicine?
They need parental supervision.
Yo Mama so stupid that when she saw a sign that said, “Airport Left,” she turned around and went home.
Post your jokes in the comments below!
A girl asked her mom, "Why is my name Walmart?"
Her dad replied and said, "Because that’s where you were made."