Worst Jokes Ever
What's the difference between orphans and apples?
Apples get picked.
Did Jesus die a virgin?
No... He got nailed! 😅
Me: Do you know a funny joke?
Friend: Yes, you.
I rang my boss and said, "I’m really sick. I won’t be coming into work." My boss said, "Davo, you're sick again! Really! Just how sick are you now?" I replied, "Well, I’m in bed with my sister!"
What's a dying person's least favorite app? TikTok.
What did the egg say to the other egg?
"You crack me up!" 😂
I'm a human.
If wishes were horses, Beggars would ride.
If turnips were watches, I would wear one by my side.
And if if's and an's were pots and pans, The tinker would never work!
What is the same thing between apples and orphans?
Apples actually get picked.
Child: Hello, I can’t find my dad.
Stranger: Oh, well when and where did you last see him?
Child: Oh, I remember, 5 years ago he went to get some milk here.
Do you ever get that feeling where you're just going through a school parking lot, then you realize that there are no parking lots?
Don't trust atoms, people, they make up everything!
Someone: "I WANNA BE THE SUN OF YOUR LIFE!"
Me: Then stay at 1,000,000 km of me.
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
My uncle died on 9/11. At least he died doing what he loved, flying planes.
What's 9/11 survivors' least favorite NFL team?
New York Jets.
What's the best thing about dating a blind chick?
She can't identify you.
Waiter: Can I have your order?
Me: No, it’s mine!
Y'all really need to stop hating on pedos!! At least they drive slow in school zones! God.
A prisoner dug out of prison. He appeared in a playground. He said, "I'm free, I'm free!" A kid said, "So what? I'm four."