Worst Jokes Ever
*text conversation boy: When you kiss someone, you burn 15 calories. Wanna burn calories together sometime?
girl: Are you saying I'm fat?
Life is like a box of chocolates. It doesn’t last long for fat people.
Donald Trump is so stupid his fanboys dislike this.
"I want to kill my family."
-realizes-
If someone is mean to an orphan just say, "I will call your mum," and make them cry even more.
Alabama gene pools are so shallow, when they freeze over, it's just snow.
Why did Stephen Hawking die? Because he's slightly ginger.
Why did Stephen Hawking fall over?
'Cause he had a screw loose!
What do orphans, parents, and Nemo have in common?
Neither can be found.
Why does Apple logo depict 1 byte in the 21st century?
Me talks to an orphan: Hey, I have a joke.
Orphan: Go on then.
Me: Your family tree.
Why didn't the koala make the football team? Because it got diskoalafied!
Helen Keller is the kind of person to ask you what the time is.
The Big Bang happened 16.8 billion years ago, and matter cannot be created or destroyed. Therefore, we are all technically 16.8 billion years old. So, to answer your question, officer, yes, she is of age.
When you're having a normal day at school, but then...
"All the other kids with the pumped up kicks"
Why can’t orphans have an iPhone?
Because they can’t find the home button!
A lot of things changed when I got my girlfriend pregnant: my name, my address, and my phone number.
When you get home and see your parents with your grades in their hands.
Twenty minutes later, they're slapping you with the belt.
When your grades get mailed to your house when you expect to get them in school.
When you get home, your mom is there with the belt, going 1k miles per hour.
Q: What's the difference between a computer and an abortion clinic? A: Ctrl+Alt+Delete