Worst Jokes Ever

Why are orphans afraid of your orphanage?

Because I burnt it down!

Roses are red, violets are blue.

What's the same with your dad and Retail Row?

They are both off the map.

Do you know why boys can't ask girls out? Because they don't have any balls to ask girls out!

I be ready to commit suicide.

But when it comes to jumping out my window, I'm scared ash.

What is an emo's favorite game?

To delete Cut the Rope.

Republicunts/Cuntservaturds.

One time a kid came to the hospital and said, "I really need help." The kid said he was really hot, so they put an ice cold towel on him.

Then the doctor asked him if he had any problems, and he said, "Yes, I am really hot." The doctor realized that he looked fine, so he said, "Are you sure? You look amazing." And the kid said that he meant to say, "I look hot!"

M to de B, m to de B = master bate.

So, Biden, Zelensky, and Putin are on a plane, and the plane loses altitude and goes down, but there are 2 parachutes. Putin takes the first one and jumps because he is a greedy twat. So he jumps, but then Biden says, "You go, Zelensky. I am much older than you, and it is ok for me to die." So Zelensky takes the second one and jumps, but when he did, the plane regains altitude, and Biden got to Washington, DC, all fine. They found out the reason was Zelensky's steel balls.

Why can’t orphans play baseball?

Because they can’t get a home run.

The is the no the yes yes the no the.

Balls.

People see this Rolex and they kill themselves.

Motherfucker, that's a suicide watch!

Were you born on a highway? Because that is where most mistakes happen.

Yo mama so fat that she broke the scale when she put one foot on it.

Yo mama is so fat that she brought a spoon to the Super Bowl and a plate and ketchup to the red zone.

Why does a straight guy act gay? Because he wants to feel wanted and wants to be BFFs with the hottest girls.

I was playing Warzone last night, and I shot my teammate that said they were emo. When I shot him, another player did, and it said "assist kill."

Me and my friend roasting each other.

Him: Your dad dropped you on purpose, but my dad dropped me by accident.

Me: But after dropping you, he never picked you up.

Miss Kadie, I heard that the Westboro Baptist Church is having a party for kicking out 99999 gay people.

Pastor: Welcome to the gay matters church.

Miss Kadie: Stop that, you know that God hates gay people.

Me: Stop that, vegan teacher.

Pastor: You deserve to die.

- I attack