Worst Jokes Ever

What do you call a house that isn't a house?

Not a house.

Why do most orphans become criminals?

Then finally they know what it’s like to be wanted.

My gf told me she was pregnant. So I punched her in the stomach.

She asked me "Why the hell did you do that?!?!?" "I wanted to let you know I'm pro abortion."

Why can't orphans play baseball?

They don’t know where home is.

What you call suicide, I call a failed speedrun attempt.

I went to a girl and I said, "DEEZ NUTS!"

Roses are red, colors are blue, if I was you, I'd look like you.

Why is there a hole in Uranus?

Say all the planets: Mars, Saturn, Uranus.

Why can't orphans eat chips?

'Cause they're family sized!

What part is usually missing in an orphan’s computer system?

Motherboard.

Why can't orphans play GTA? Because they're not wanted.

There are 3 men: an American, a French, and an Italian who have to take a trip and take the plane.

The American puts his hand out the window and says: "We are in America, I touched the Statue of Liberty." The French says: "We are in France, I touched the Eiffel Tower." The Italian says: "We are in Italy, I touched the garbage!"

A French, a German, and an Italian make a race to see who resists the most in a room full of flies. The French starts, and after a quarter of an hour, comes out.

Then goes the German, who comes out after an hour. Finally, the Italian enters and comes out after five hours.

The French: "But how did you do it?"

The Italian: "I killed one."

The German: "So what?"

The Italian: "And then they were all busy for the funeral!"

I'm a pilot and my boss told me to fly people to New York, so I flew them to New York and hit the towers. That was a tragic story.

Q: What does a slice of pizza and an F grade have in common?

A: They're both cheesy.

Transgenders! Men in disguise!

You're so fat, when you fall, the sidewalk cracks.

What does a bad friend give a blind kid for his birthday?

Give him a gun and tell him it's a hairdryer.

The Twin Towers are just like genders.

There used to be two, but now it's a sensitive topic.