Worst Jokes Ever
My wife told me she’ll slam my head into the keyboard if I don’t get off the computer.
I’m not too worried—I think she’s jokingdkdkslalkdlkfjslfjslksdlkfjuahehwhgwdklaljdf.
What does Michael Jackson like to drink? Tea-he-he.
A mother and son were in the backyard, and the son finished building a shed. The mother says, "You're the best husband ever."
What do trans men and Pinocchio have in common?
Both are lying when they say "I'm a real boy."
(I'm a trans man myself lol)
What's the difference between saying "bloody" in America and in the U.K.?
In the U.K., it's a swear word.
In America, it's a family reunion.
A kid in a wheelchair got hurt yesterday. I got detention yesterday because I told him to walk it off.
What do the Titanic and the Sixth Sense have in common?
Icy dead people.
What are a group of depressed people called?
A suicide squad.
Why can’t Indian women drive?
They’re too used to riding their camels.
Can we have sex, because if we don't, I can't like you, big, thick booty!
So let's have sex in bed, you sexy woman, or behind a tree, because shoving my dick in your pussy is a very nice feeling while sucking your ass.
Which animal is the least trustworthy?
You see a kid on the side of the street crying, so you go up to them and say, "Where are your parents?" The kid says, "What are parents?"
What did the parent say to Michael Jackson?
"Get off my kid!"
How did Protestants perform in the 16th century? Well done.
The COVID-19 situation has been especially stressful for the Flat Earth Society.
They fear that social distancing measures could push people over the edge.
What do the Twin Towers and Angry Birds' pigs have in common?
They always getting hit.
What are Africans composed of?
99% Coca-Cola.
I was in the corner shop and the Indian woman was sporting a red dot on her forehead. I scratched it off and won a fucking Ford Focus!
An Indian guy and an American guy in a wheelchair met in a bar for drinks.
The American guy got drunk and fell on the sidewalk.
The Indian guy got drunk and walked away.
An autistic man walks into a bra.