Worst Jokes Ever
A blonde accidentally kills a cop and calls the police.
She exclaims, “Hello, is this 911?”
The other person, “Yes, what is your emergency?”
The blonde answered, “I called to inform you that you’re 910 now.”
Why do Blondes never suffer from headaches?
No brain, no pain.
Roses are red, violets are blue, You told me I'm ugly, nah, you look like a monkey!
What’s Michael Jackson’s favorite poker hand?
Jacks and 5.
What do you call a religious drug addict?
A crystal methodist.
Did you know that people say Michael Jackson only became a pedophile when he was white?
Lucky for him, if he was black he would have been found guilty.
What do dark humor and a person with scoliosis have in common?
Both are sick and twisted.
Due to her death, you can no longer get a letter from the Queen when you turn 100.
Instead, you now receive a text from Prince Andrew when you turn 14.
What's a joke that an orphan has never heard before?
A dad joke.
What’s the hardest part about being a pedophile?
Fitting in.
Why do Arabs hate chess?
Because the queen is allowed to move freely.
Your mother is so fat that her BMI (Body Mass Index) exceeds 40, therefore classifying her as morbidly obese.
What does a nearsighted gynaecologist and a puppy have in common?
Wet noses.
Why can’t Helen Keller jump out of an airplane?
It scares the shit out of her dog.
I'm as straight as a rainbow.
What’s worse than George Bush doing 9/11? Jeffrey Epstein doing nine Elevens.
My only friend who actually cares: "Stop making suicide jokes, I’m really concerned!"
Me: Okay, I’ll cut it out.
(Note: this joke is not one of the worst jokes ever because it is obscene or offensive; it’s just a bad joke.) Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Because they’re dead.
I found a chest of gold in my garden the other day. I wanted to run straight home to tell my wife about it.
Then I remembered why I was digging in my garden.
What’s the difference between Micheal Jackson and a grocery bag?
One is plastic and dangerous for children to play with, the other is used for carrying groceries.