Worst Jokes Ever

A man is lying on the beach, wearing nothing but a cap over his crotch. A woman passing by remarks, "If you were any sort of a gentleman, you would lift your hat to a lady." He replies, "If you were any sort of a sexy lady, the hat would lift by itself."

Roses are red, violets are blue, get the f*ck out, I’m trying to poo!

So can we agree that Jesus was the first victim of cancel culture?

Why is September 11th the best birthday ever? No one forgets it :)

So I saw a bag full of children near a dumpster. I guess we know where the orphans are when the parents didn’t want them.

Wouldn’t want to hope a Catholic priest comes along, otherwise the priest will have new sex toys.

I had a friend who was a dwarf. He committed suicide. He jumped off a curb.

"It's not a war crime if you win the war."

- Sun Tzu, The Art of War

1 like = 1 more child in my blender.

+1 like = 1 kid in my basement.

+1 comment = 1 kid in my microwave.

+1 share = 1 kid in my blender.

Why does Michael Jackson like spaghetti? He likes the little meatballs.

My mom asks, "How did you do this?" Me: "Naw, I did it with a fork. WHAT D'YA THINK?-"

1 like = 1 more orphan I dropkick.

My boss said she would've loved to meet Bill Cosby as a child. I don't get why I'm getting arrested. I was just making sure his dream came true.

How do you stop a baby from crawling? Nail its hand to the floor.

Woman: "I want coffee, black."

Cop: *takes out gun* "WHERE?!"

I got suspended for asking an emo kid if he wants to hang out with me.

You are able to travel to the anime world, believe me, Michael Jackson did it.

Roses are red, I wish you were dead.

The emo girl in my class did her photosynthesis project on a tree. Little did she know that would be her demise later on.

Roses are red, violets are blue, the last time people got depressed ended World War II.